Making fire under men - "I want to feel alive or die"
South African author of Can You See Me Naked, Adele Green, shared why women making fire under men is evolving relationships as we know them. The change in modern women drives new relationship and business roles. There are more single women with children providing for themselves than ever. But is it elevating society and best for children? Are these women happy? Are they satisfied with sex or do they secretly desire intimacy in loving conscious relationships? Did women just resist an outdated patriarchal system with a well intended matriarchal one?
"Sometimes the deeper we fall into the darkness of life, to the point of abandoning ourselves, the more reason we have to appreciate what was right in front of our eyes. Were we prevented from seeing it before because of our beliefs?"
- Adele Green
Bright but poor, abused emotionally and physically by her stepfather, Adele Green was living with the stigma of her father's suicide that shaped her image as a child. As an adult she was widowed; miscarried three times; held up at gunpoint; divorced and eventually abandoned her life as she knew it. Who was she at 40?
Adele vowed to find herself. She wanted to feel alive or die. She did a fire walk, a sky dive, travelled from South Africa to Peru and then Hawaii as she abandoned all things material. This included her role as a mom, wife, student and CEO of a coaching business. Feeling free was all that mattered as she turned her back on everything that was important to her.
Adele said her dreams became more vivid. Insights came to her as she was thinking about events as they happened. The questions she asked were answered by messages in her surroundings, i.e. looking at billboards; opening a book at random reading a relevant sentence; and when she talked to people she observed certain words that stood out for her. Understanding these messages felt to her like she was seeing with her heart instead of her eyes, and this helped her to feel that she belonged again. Adele recollects: "I learned to trust life again. I believed a little more in me every day as I experimented with the truth, testing my experience of life against my thoughts about it."
Finally she experienced freedom: she was swimming in the deep ocean waters of Hawaii and felt like she was not herself. The sense of her body had vanished and the environment was foreign to her. Without an identity and a purpose, from where she was drifting and looking at the land, she recalls thinking how people's scheduled lives made them slaves to time. In that moment of awareness she was totally free from expectations or concern for a body, time, money, people and nothing had power over clear perspective. As she was swimming she was experiencing all her senses at once. And then she returned to her life, to land and to connecting with her children.
She wrote a book, Can You See Me Naked, to change the male perspective of transforming women and their apparent irrational behavior with a distinct intention to give a voice to women's unspoken need for equality. If reading it validates women, then gifting men with this book offers advice to support women and gives words to the vulnerable feelings stirring inside women as they change. The value of expressing feelings assists to identify what are behind those behaviors. The more women express their truth, the more they acknowledge themselves as being human, equal in gender, proud mothers and leading women.
Adele married her soul mate and started new projects with a voice for women. She has two published books (the second: Empowered Women is co-authored and part of a NY Bestseller series TGI) and hopes to release her inspired poetry from her travels in Peru, next. She teaches women to validate and believe in themselves. She refuses to be a crutch that feeds the very energy that drives their insecurity. According to Adele true confidence can only come from inside and not from reading a book or copy what someone else did. The beauty of women lies in each of them having their own flavor! Therefor she assists women to reclaim what is uniquely theirs beyond their expected female roles. If the beliefs of women come from their past defined by their roles, then they can empower themselves with their past by re-defining those roles.
Breaking out of her old life restored Adele's belief in herself. While her prescribed roles made her forget who she was, the most powerful thing that she did for herself was to lose her identity for her inner feminine to emerge. Now she consciously chose her own maps, roles and destiny as a leading women. What she learned on the way is shared in her books, blogs and coaching programs.
When we first acknowledge ourselves, everyone else also acknowledges us.
Adele' s tips to believe in yourself:
• Don't ask people for feedback, they can only tell you what they know about themselves. You need feedback from people who achieve what you desire for yourself.
• Choose what you want to believe about yourself. Not everything people say is about you.
• If you want to know the truth, experiment with it.
• Learn to trust yourself.
• You are not your past - only this moment. Do not project your future from your past, until you can recognize your strengths.
• Design what roles you want to fulfill in your life and then step into them.
• If you are changing inside a relationship. Remember that your partner is not changing, so help him understand. When he does and know how to assist you transforming, he will be your biggest advocate.
"Men want to support women."
Remember that men cannot read your thoughts. Learn how and what to tell them. Do not withdraw because you feel misunderstood.
There comes a time in every women's life when something triggers her to feel more, think deeper and turn life upside down from the inside out. When this happens know that this is your journey, and not even your partner can do this for you.
Just like teenagers who become adults, women turn from mothers into wise women. But before you turn your life on everything you created, learn how to express your feelings. Not everyone can have an Eat Pray Love experience. But those stories are what inspire modern women to lead, be open to change and possibly even learn to transform inside their relationships. Unfortunately when we resist we also become dead inside. We do not trust our feelings anymore. What we avoid as women will repeat itself until we accept the challenge of the emerging feminine to bring back our mojo, or die a little every day.
Adele Green is the author of Can You See Me Naked: Grow in a conscious relationship, Blogger of www.nakedwithadele.com, Executive AboutWomen Coach & spend her time to write and talk about what moves her soul.
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