If Donald Trump Were A Black Man

Donald Trump, presumptive Republican presidential nominee, pauses while speaking during a campaign event in Atlanta, Georgia,
Donald Trump, presumptive Republican presidential nominee, pauses while speaking during a campaign event in Atlanta, Georgia, U.S., on Wednesday, June 15, 2016. Trump's response to the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history has Republican senators losing hope that their presumptive nominee will tame his blustery rhetoric and moderate his controversial policy positions ahead of the fall election. Photographer: Luke Sharrett/Bloomberg via Getty Images

To set aside the obvious, if Trump, a D-list reality TV star, were indeed a black man he would have quickly gone the way of Ben Carson. That is to say, the GOP would have entertained him, briefly tolerated him, and quickly and expectedly disqualified him. As I (and many Americans) mourn the end of President Barack Obama's second term, I couldn't ignore the curious and often frightening ascension of Donald Trump, the front-runner for the GOP presidential nomination, and perhaps the most divisive, fraudulent, unintelligent, racist, chauvinistic, misogynistic, xenophobic, faux statesman America has ever had to stomach.

Picture it: a black presidential candidate behind a notoriously fraudulent, now defunct, for-profit college, a brash businessman who has exported job opportunities, filed corporate bankruptcy FOUR times, and, between him and his businesses, has been involved in at least 3,500 legal actions over the last 30 years. Moreover, imagine that he has refused to release his taxes, and was sued TWICE by the U.S. Justice Department for violating the Fair Housing Act of 1968. Using an insecure email server suddenly seems as minuscule and irrelevant as it would have been had the politician in question been a man and not Hillary Clinton.

The bigotry doesn't end there, however.

Trump's antics would be utterly theatrical if they weren't so asinine. Claiming, "Laziness is a trait in blacks," or contending that Mexican immigrants are "criminals" and "rapists," he exceeds even his own brand of stupidity by insisting that America needs to build a wall to keep them out. If given the chance he'll ban Muslims from entering the U.S., perhaps his most ridiculous pronouncement to date. Such blanket, insulting, indefensible statements are aplenty, from a candidate who would be charged with representing the whole of America and not just those he deems worthy of liberties afforded by a constitution he's likely only familiar with via Cliff Notes.

His own party would've metaphorically lynched him for espousing such hatred instead of praising him for being "tough on terrorism." Further, our fictional black Trump would've lost donors, businesses, and contracts, while simultaneously putting his family in grave physical danger.

When Trump speaks ad nausea of his love for "the" blacks "the" Muslims and "the" Mexicans, one cannot help but wonder if Trump realizes that minorities aren't part of America, they ARE America. But Trump panders to a segment of America that longs for the days of separate but equal, a nation that grants exclusive, inherent rights to wealthy white males. Further, lacking decorum and discipline, Trump exhibits only a dim understanding of domestic and foreign relations. He can't possibly love America while simultaneously driving her backwards. More to the point: picture a candidate who failed to disavow a racist group known for violent intimidation toward minorities, a leader who condones Americans attacking each other, and insists that those who oppose his frightening beliefs should go back to their ancestral homeland. Rather moronic statements from someone who is actually married to an immigrant.

First Ladies have historically exuded refinement and propriety. But what would be said of a black candidate whose THIRD wife was most famous for a racy GQ spread you need antibacterial wipes to read? Handcuffed to a briefcase, nude, and prowling about a private jet isn't very becoming of a potential First Lady. The slut shaming would be merciless. And to think, much ado was made about Frist Lady Michelle Obama baring her arms. When asked about her potential platform, this model (and we use the term as loosely as one can without abandoning it altogether) stated that she would "help women. I will help kids. They are our future." One can only wonder if her complex and ambitious platform was pilfered from a "We Are The World" CD.

It's worth mentioning that the very notion of a Trump presidency, in spite of his many well-documented failures, proves that America still has a deep racial divide. Bigots who loathed Obama have created a monster that the rest of the civilized world now has to tolerate. He has become our national shame. In a just country, Trump would go down in history as the nation's most unviable candidate. In fact, in an effort to ensure that such questionable characters aren't allowed to seek office in the future, new laws would likely be implemented to weed out such "presidential" candidates.

Trump's history of nepotism, (hiring your daughter for a top-level position hardly constitutes a history of gender equality) his questionable and illegal business practices, and his close association with hate mongers, should have disqualified him. But only in America can being white, rich, and male make up for being unintelligent, unmeasured, and temperamental. Yet Trump voters claim that he is a breath of fresh air, that he's different from the Washington establishment. Adolf Hitler was different, as were Idi Amin and Benito Mussolini. Defining "different" is imperative, given Trump's history of incoherent declarations, and bumper sticker policy speeches, which lack both depth and substance. From vowing to violate international laws (Trump proposed killing the families of terrorists), to altering libel laws so the press can be punished for doing its job, to mocking everyone from women, POWs, and even a disabled journalist, Trump continually proves that he is not only dangerous but also inflammatory and unfit for the presidency.

Despite his numerous temper tantrums, this isn't a high school student council election. One can only assume that Americans who believe they've been disenfranchised by the mere presence of a black president, have fueled Trump's popularity. These same people mercilessly mocked and disrespected President Barack Obama, railroading his efforts to truly make America a more inclusive, diverse, productive nation simply because he's black. Sadly, Trump isn't black, because in this country, the land of free and home of the brave, his detractors wouldn't be satisfied until he career and political ambitions were left hanging...from a tree.