I've had a lot of cool wins in the last year or so. After three years, the hard work is paying off. I've kept off the 170 pounds I lost. I get to wake up and do whatever I want -- work wise -- in the place that I love, Maui, Hawaii. I have complete freedom in my work, health, and relationships.
Life should be smooth sailing. Right?
You and I aren't always together. What we see of each other is through this blog, podcasts interviews, videos, and social media. You get a tiny glimpse into my life, and I get a tiny glimpse into yours.
During all that time we're not together, a whole lot is going on behind the scenes. I try to be as honest as possible with what I share publicly, but I'm human. There are things I'm ashamed and embarrassed to admit.
I want you to see me as this super cool, take-on-the-world-without-blinking type of guy. I'm not. There are many things I struggle with, but wish I didn't. Here are six major ones.
1. Envy of other's success
I've had some cool wins, which should make me cheer for joy when I see others also experiencing success. Sometimes I do, but too often I don't. I get all kind of crazy thoughts running through my mind.
I wonder what they did. I wonder why more people didn't "like" my status update or retweet when I shared my good news? I think twice before liking or sharing their win because, "I don't remember them liking or sharing mine." I basically act like a teenager all over again. Grow up KIMANZI!
Envy will lay evil roots in your mind and heart. Life would be wonderful if more cool things happened to us, but sometimes it takes a while. Don't give into envy. Don't get discouraged or give up. Cheer for your fellow human because life is hard for all of us.
2. A short temper
Hawaii is a pretty cool place. Learning how to relax is a requirement to move here. I've learned how to live a simple and laid-back lifestyle, but I still give into to fits of anger. I yell at times, I pout, and I walk out of rooms. I have temporary moments of insanity where I forget how blessed I am. During those times when you want to give into your raw emotions, don't. Take a second to breath deeply and smile. You're alive!
3. A lack of impulse control
I want what I want, and I want it RIGHT now (I told you before I act like a teenager). I see cool new technology and I want to buy it. I smell delicious food and I buy it and eat it. I get an email about book deals and before I know it, my Kindle is FULL! It's harder to wait, but if we always got what we wanted, when we wanted it, life would fall apart for us. We would walk around like spoiled children. It takes time but you and I can exercise impulse control. Well, most of the time. Our goal shouldn't be perfection, just small daily victories.
4. Lingering self-limiting beliefs
Despite success, I still struggle with feeling like a homeless high school dropout. The ties to my old life still linger and the haters are quick to point out where I came from. Everyday I battle self-limiting beliefs, and too often they win. I'm getting better and I believe in what I'm doing, so I press forward.
Self-limiting beliefs are something we all struggle with. They're always there in the back of our mind trying to convince us to stay complacent. Life is too short to give in. Talk it out with someone support and chase your dreams anyways.
5. Not being fully present enough
I missed a lot of my family's life while I was making big changes in my life. I told myself it was a necessary sacrifice, but I could have done better. What is worse were the times I was physically there but not. I was in another world in my mind. It's taken awhile, but I work hard to be fully present in each moment.
Our loved ones deserve all of us, not what's left after the world has gotten all of our attention. We have to be there in every way possible. We have to listen and understand. We have to focus and tune out the distractions. We have to, as much as possible, live fully present and cherish each moment.
6. A lack of focus
Making a living online is hard. Maintaining weight loss is harder. Not fighting with my wife everyday seems impossible at times--mostly because of me. I get easily distracted and lose focus on the things that I should be doing to grow.
There are too many ways to become successful. Information overload should come with instructions on WebMD. To make progress, you have to learn to focus on what's important to YOU right now. Not copying someone else.
I'm not perfect and neither is anyone else, but that's OK. We have to do our best, and constantly work on improving our work, health, and relationships. I'm making an effort to be really honest about what's going on. The good and the bad. I hope it helps.
What are some things you struggle with?
This article originally appeared on KimanziConstable.com.
Photo: Flickr/ floato