THE BLOG
10/28/2014 02:05 pm ET Updated Dec 28, 2014

When Your Partner Feels More Like a Roommate

Jessica Peterson via Getty Images

By Andrea Syrtash for KnowMore.tv

You and your husband share a lot -- a great home, a wonderful family -- but when was the last time you shared a passionate kiss? If you can't remember, take note; it's easy to slip into the roommate trap with your lover.

How do you know if losing the romantic connection is a normal and real practical part of your marriage, or if it's something that needs to change? Here are a few signs that you may want to mix up your routine so it doesn't take a negative toll on your relationship.

1. You don't talk anymore

You talk about bills, housework, kids' schedules... but you can't recall the last time you and your partner had a meaningful talk about your lives, your needs and your desires.

My tip: Spend 10 minutes a night connecting with each other and make a point not to talk about practical matters. You'll be amazed at how just a few minutes a day reminds you that you're each other's priority.

2. Sleep is more important than sex

We're all overworked and busy, so it's not surprising that many of us have moments where we'd take sleep over sex. But if too much time goes by without an intimate connection, it'll take a toll on your relationship and you may crave that sexy connection elsewhere.

My tip: It doesn't sound sexy to schedule sex, but dedicating time each month will get your sexy connection back on track. Figure out together if you'll try during the kid's nap or a particular night before bed. Some couples even dedicate the same day every week for sex. Whatever works for you!

3. You don't see each other

You feel like ships passing in the night. You go to bed separately and your schedules seem totally out-of-sync.

My tip: Something has to change or this will erode your relationship. Take out your calendars and find at least one day a week where you'll be together for a concentrated period. It may mean taking a coffee break together during the work week or going together to do errands on the weekend. Whatever you do, make together time a must.

We can't expect that everything we do with our partners to be as romantic as it used to be, but we should expect to have a connection that feels different from just another body in the house.

If you're slipping into the friend trap, these small changes may remind you that you're lovers and partners -- not just parents and roommates.

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