07/15/2013 04:54 pm ET Updated Sep 11, 2013


I always liked that word. Tribes. Better than groups. Better than clan. Maybe I just like the sound. It has a nice ring to it. Seems like it is more cohesive than the others. It's hard to find the right tribe. The one that will support you, but not baby you. That will be kind, but be honest. That will be there even when it may be unpleasant. That will love you and laugh with you no matter what.

I'm so busy with work and family that I have not been with a group of friends -- especially women -- in way too long. I want to get together and throw it down, be able to laugh and share our lives with one another. I have tried very hard to have my tribe be made up of people I aspire to be like.

It seems that I can find many women who are looking for excuses to not really live life to the fullest. It's easy to find reasons why things aren't the way we'd like them to be. It take constant work to tell yourself that life can be great, that there are better ways to deal with dilemmas and that it is our responsibility to make good things happen.

Now, don't get me wrong; I, too, am guilty of this behavior. I would much rather go to my rehearsed story that I have used so many times when I don't want to face the real reason something goes wrong in my life. That story was my way to get the attention I desperately needed, and I was very clever and knew exactly what story to use. Still do. But now, I catch myself midway and correct myself. People in the tribe who are the right ones are the ones that know exactly what you are doing. They let you go on just to see how long it will take for you to discover your drama and why you are going in that direction, then... gotcha!

The tribe I am comfortable with now doesn't have to be constantly talking. They feel completely content with silence. When we are on a hike, they are as content as I am to just listen to the sounds of the wilderness. I am always in makeup trailers where the chatter can be relentless, and so I thrive on that quiet. It is perfectly normal for the trailer to be that active. I'd be worried if it wasn't. It is a safe place where everyone can meet and greet before we go out into the world of make believe. That's my work tribe. And they are as vital to me as my play tribe. Sometimes, they intermingle, which makes my work even sweeter.

Our style is very similar in my tribe. We are constantly asking each other where we got all the fabulous things that make up our styles. My tribe is comfortable with who they are, which makes the latest sale a little slice of heaven.

Women can be so good at putting together their tribe. I think it's hard to mix gender in tribes. Then they are so-called relationships, and I find that is something altogether different.

So, have you found your tribe? Lately, life has challenged a number of my tribe, and I find it so wonderful to be able to be the one to really listen and hopefully offer them solace. God knows they have given it to me.

I encourage you to put together your tribe if you haven't already. The years really brings us closer to each other and when life deals you a sour hand, which inevitably it does, that will be your lifeline.