Quick Guide: Being a Boy Mom

Being a boy mom is like entering in a secret society of women who have each other's backs. We just "get" each other without saying a word.
01/28/2016 05:18 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

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I get asked, "What's it like raising only boys?" at least once a day by someone, somewhere. You'd think I'm the only person in the world who has only boys, like I'm raising three unicorns over here instead of three males and have infinite wisdom on raising mythical creatures. In reality, raising three boys reminds me of my college days when I used to visit my now husband at his fraternity. It's loud, it's messy, and there's always something going on. Ladies, they really are "born that way."

Here's what I've learned (so far) about what it's like raising boys:

1) They're Messy -- You think your daughter is messy because there are hair bows and My Little Ponies all over your house? That's cute. My house looks like a nuclear explosive device went off and it's only 9 a.m. The mess that comes along with three boys is a given. Toys, clothes, video games, sports equipment, towels, plates, cups, bowls, socks, shoes, Nerf Guns... and that's just what I see in a 5-foot radius of where I'm sitting now. Side note to their future wives: I'm sorry. I tried. Really tried.

2) They're Stinky -- I thought this would be something I would experience much much later in my boys life... like teenage years, but there is just a smell with boys. I know they bathe daily because I force, err, I mean encourage them to, but if you stick your head inside their room or my van after they've been there, then you'd probably call me a LIAR, and ask me to light a candle or give you a gas mask. I didn't know it was possible for little guys to have SO much odor at this age, but they do!

3) They MOVE -- Constantly. At high speeds. They're on a fast track all.day.long. Running from bed to the breakfast table. Parkouring onto the couch to watch Mickey Mouse, taking the stairs two or three at a time, racing to the bathroom, racing to the car. Racing, racing, racing... you get the idea.

4) They Compete -- Seriously though, if you didn't figure it out from what I wrote above, EVERYTHING is a race. Let's see who can buckle their seatbelt the fastest. Let's see who can get dressed the fastest. Every minute detail of their life is turned into a competition and a fierce one at that. It's like their egos have to find something to compete about otherwise life is just not worth living. For instance, last weekend my sons were competing to see who could get dressed the fastest. My oldest ended up wearing navy blue shorts instead of black basketball shorts for his team photo and my 4-year-old ended up wearing his shirt backwards. All in the name of competing for record breaking dressing speed!

5) They Fight -- And not because they're not getting along. If they're fighting that's actually a good thing around here. That means they're "playing." They're fighting with light sabers, fighting with Lego men against Super Heroes, they're fighting in a "war," they're playing cops and robbers, or an epic Minecraft battle against Creepers, Zombies, and spiders. Every activity is turned into some sort of battle with boys. Everything is a gun or a sword, or light saber.

I know I know all of this sounds kind of terrible, and I see how big your eyes get when you visit me at my house and one of my son's leaps from the couch to the coffee table without missing a beat. I know you don't invite me over to your "girl" house because you're terrified that something is going to get broken... like your daughter. However, there are some MAJOR benefits to being a "Boy Mom."

6) It's Easy to Get Ready -- We can get ready in less than five minutes! Well, by "we" I mean the boys. They just grab whatever outfit is on top of their drawer and go! Boys don't care what they wear so there's no epic battle over which frilly dress or hair bow to put in their hair. In fact, they don't even want you to touch their hair, which is a bonus for me. If they DO happen to want you to fix their hair it takes like 3.5 milliseconds. Spritz of water, run a brush through it and done!

7) Public Restrooms -- Or not even a restroom. Enough said.

8) Their Love for Mom -- Boy love is the strongest love I've ever felt. It's like I'm the center of their universe, and they go out of their way daily to make me happy. I get extra hugs, kisses, snuggle time, and pictures made just for me. They call me their best friend and they do whatever they can to protect their mama. They tell me I'm beautiful no matter if I haven't showered or if I'm all dressed up.

9) They're Sensitive -- Little boys are also some of the most sensitive creatures on the planet I've ever met and I love the empathy they show for others. A simple hug from their mama can calm them down and I hope this is still the case 20 years from now when they're towering over me and on their own.

10) Their Toys Are Cooler -- Be honest- when was the last time you broke out your daughter's Barbie dolls to play with them after they went to bed? My husband and I will happily start up a game of electronic basketball or race their remote control cars around the house after they've long been asleep just because their toys are freakin' cool!

Being a boy mom is like entering in a secret society of women who have each other's backs. We just "get" each other without saying a word when we see each other in the grocery store aisle packing our carts full of snack after snack because they just don't stop eating, or on the sidelines at the soccer field and then later on the baseball field because, boy mom. It's like I don't even have to know you to really know you. We lead similar lives and for that, I get you. I know how exhausted you are, but overwhelmed with joy. I know how it just NEVER stops, but neither does your love. It's an unspoken kinship of our special breed of women who have been blessed to raise future men.

There might be a slight bit of the green-eyed-envy monster when we see girl mom walk up with her adorable girls in frilly pink tutus, but it quickly dissipates because we're having SO much fun on the daily over here and really, we don't have time to think about the fact that we don't have a girl. We're in the middle of a light saber fight over here and Darth Vader is really upping his sparring skills.

So, what's it like being a boy mom? It's freakin' awesome!

xoxo,
Kristen

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