You know that old saying, "the days are long but the years are short"? Well I like to say, "the days are long but the nights are longer." That is the God's honest truth once you enter parenthood. Its ever changing ages bring new stages, and new ailments to keep us up at night. Couple the sleep deprivation with aging, and you've got a recipe for disaster.
After five years of serving in the mommyhood ranks, there have been many things that have happened which made me laugh, shake my head, and then eventually wonder, who am I? I knew things would change when the kids came; I just wasn't ready to actually lose my mind, or my mojo. So here are the top 10 signs that I'm officially getting old, I'm sleep deprived, and frankly just don't give a damn anymore. (In no particular order.)
1. I dropped my daughter off at school last week. Afterwards, when I was back in the car, I realized my shirt was on inside out.
2. The aforementioned shirt was actually my pajama top from the night before. I obviously didn't feel like changing, so I ran to work for a quick meeting wearing (drum roll please) the same shirt. Yes, I wore my PJ's all day. I'm still wearing it actually. Very cute shirt... you would never know I slept in it... until I announced it publicly on this website of course.
3. I walk into rooms at least three times a day, and forget why I'm there.
4. I went shopping for clothes last weekend since the girls are growing like weeds. As I lifted the double stroller out of the minivan, I pulled my hamstring.
5. Yes, I drive a minivan and yes, it means I'm a mom. It totally kicks ass though, and as Katie Couric once tweeted to me... #respectthevan. I rock the Town n' Country.
6. As for going out, the thought of eating dinner after 6:00 p.m. is horrifying. What do you mean a 9:00 p.m. dinner reservation? That's my bed time!
7. I now take pictures of my kids doing everything. Even running. Then post on Facebook multiple times a day.
8. I don't drink that much anymore because the kids wake me up too early. And who wants to deal with kids when you're hungover? Yes, I'm totally lame and need to rebuild my tolerance.
9. Speaking of cocktails, my perfect Friday night? The 3 P's baby! Pirate's Booty, Pinot Grigio, and cheesy (yet soft) Karen Neuburger Pajamas. Oh and reruns of Say Yes to the Dress on TLC. Who needs SoBe club life when you have a flat screen, Netflix, and wine?
10. I gave out pretzels on Halloween. Enough said.
No one said it was easy, or pretty, but this is my mommy reality. I am officially getting old and exhausted beyond belief. They may have sucked away my energy and boobs, but at least I still have my sense of humor!