You generally don't hear too many complaints when female breasts appear in the following places: falling out of a bikini top; conservatively covered in a bra advertisement; or stuffed snugly in a Hooters t-shirt.
But for an awful lot of people, even the suggestion of breasts put entirely in the service of feeding a child is scandalous.
Mall security guards make up laws banning it.
The message: if you're not using your rack to sell bras or curly fries, then you really need to put those things away.
I personally don't like watching anyone breastfeed. It makes me uncomfortable -- not because I don't think it should be done in public, but because I remember how hard I tried to breastfeed and never could.
I was ready to face the ire of mall security guards and restaurant managers to breastfeed my daughter. But I also live in Seattle, where not breastfeeding will raise more eyebrows than doing it in public.
My daughter was delivered early by C-section. After two days of life, her weight dropped to under 5 lbs. And I wasn't producing enough milk.
A nurse recommended formula, and I agreed.
Experts were called in. Two lactation specialists stood by my bedside earnestly and awkwardly trying to help me breastfeed better. (Anyone who's had a lactation specialist manhandle their mammaries knows how weird this experience can be.)
But then I stopped producing almost any milk at all.
Meanwhile, I researched whether or not my daughter would ever recover those 15 IQ points if I continued to formula feed.
A doula recommended wearing cabbage leaves to stimulate milk production.
Then she suggested fenugreek, a herb used in Indian food that's supposed to help with milk production. I ingested such huge quantities of it that everything I ate tasted like curry.
A doctor prescribed Reglan, which is an anti-heartburn medication sometimes administered off-label to stimulate milk production.
I've since learned it was a good thing I didn't take it for more than a week. In 2009, Reglan was given a black box warning. It can cause an irreversible nerve disorder. And yes, it's passed on to a child through breast milk.
Meanwhile, I kept trying to pump, while my daughter fattened up nicely on formula.
The milk of human kindness
And then I attended a "first weeks" support group at a local birthing center, one of those sharing circle meet-ups for new moms. The women were sharing birth stories and breastfeeding tips.
It seemed like everyone was breastfeeding. Except me. That's when I took out my formula-filled bottle and planted it in my daughter's hungry mouth. And then raised my hand to ask a question.
"I'd like to know if anyone else has had difficulty breastfeeding and whether they've used formula."
The moderator, a thin-lipped former nurse whose strained sweetness irritated me from the start of the meeting, replied, "We don't discuss those issues here."
I was stunned -- and ashamed and pissed. In that order. Who was she to judge me? It was OK to talk about successful breastfeeding, but not about formula?
I packed up my baby paraphernalia and went home.
Over the next few days, I rid my home of the fenugreek, the cabbage leaves, and the Reglan. My daughter was 3-weeks-old and doing just fine. Why was I doing all of this artificial stuff to do something that was supposed to be natural?
Even a lactation specialist I spoke with finally admitted that sometimes "we make too much of this," meaning the belief that breast is best -- and the only option.
And now when I read hostile messages on blogs, where some women condemn other women for not breastfeeding, I think about how petty this argument is, how small and unimportant.
Because once kids start walking and talking and having opinions of their own, like how awesome they look in a Hooters t-shirt, the last thing any parent is going to be worrying about is whether or not they breastfed their child.
This article was originally published on the author's blog, Not Those Kennedys.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.