07/21/2005 02:34 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Burnin’ All Illusion Tonight

Something really quite disturbing occurred to me last night -- blondes, like me, need time to digest information -- so indulge me for a moment here.

What educational background and/or experience made Karl Rove worthy of any office, let alone one that allows him high level clearance? Moreover, given his background, what would someone like Karl Rove do with that kind of access?

(This morning I woke up in a curfew)

Has anyone noticed how certain Republican members of Congress seem to be acting against their own best interests? I am not speaking of the Neo-Confused factions of bibliolatry, like Santorum. I am speaking of the usual Reagan conservatives, who are committing political Hara-kiri at every turn. Even people pissed on and dragged through the Rove filth machine are more than happy to play puppet to his strings. So what is this sudden "go into debt, big government, and screw states rights" mantra?

(O God, I was a prisoner, too)

Has anyone noticed how some journalists will simply defend a lie quite blatantly, or just allow a lie to slide on through, regardless of what it does to their credibility? Again, I don’t mean planted and/or quasi-journalists like Judith Miller. I mean people I have normally respected in the past who are generally quite factual in their reporting.

(Could not recognize the faces standing over me)

I have openly speculated if some of our elected officials and some of our unelected journalists were on the take, working against their own credibility and against our welfare in mind. Well, we know at least some talking heads were filching and at least entire departments were paying people off (cough, EPA) -- with a wink-wink from the White House.

(They were all dressed in uniforms of brutality)

But why on an individual level would someone set fire to their own reputation and just how much money is needed for such an exercise in self loathing? I cannot find my handy-dandy Coulter self-hate handbook, but I assume at some point that even large amounts of money are not worth the amount of humiliation that rise to a level of an Ann Coulter’s media wrist-slashing Plath-a-thon.

(All that we got, it seems we have lost)

Would you give a loaded gun to a sociopath? What about a sociopath who already has a history of shooting people?

I am in no way asking anyone to practice mental origami here. Logic would argue that a pattern of past behaviors will most likely continue and can be used as a measurement for one’s current actions. Certainly not in all cases, but as pertaining to most people and most patterns.

Okay, so given the pustule that Rove uses as his moral compass and his past efforts, somehow understood to be genius (yeah, give any psycho that much money and protection and see how clever they can be), what would prevent this political hit man from using his security clearance to blackmail people in to “toting the party” lines and lies?

When I think about his foul, fat, greasy fingers all over medical files, tax filings, photos of someone with Jeff Gannon, and so forth, it answers a great many questions for me as to how our country has gotten where it has.

Imagine a quickie call from Rove in the middle of the night to, for example, Senator John Doe of some pretend state:

(We must have really paid the cost)

Rove: Make sure to approve Master's budget

Doe: But it makes no logical or economic sense whatsoever Karl, can you guys work with us a bit here to make this thing workable?

Rove: I could, but I could also call up Novak and let him know about your little fling with the Priest at your church.

Doe: [nods in agreement]

(Oh, stop them!)

So my suggestion to the FBI, or rather an open question: can you take a few moments off of monitoring those darn Greenpeace people (guilty no doubt of protecting trees and other such terrorists) or the ACLU (those evil Americans so concerned with the Constitution they are willing to, um, go to court of all things) and maybe, just maybe, do your country a favor and see just how much damage this perversion of misappropriated power (Rove, in case I was too vague) has done?

You need not worry about letting us in on who slept with whom or who uses crack suppositories. Really! We are so beyond basic corruption that a whole new lexicon will need to be created to describe these years.

(Weeping and a-wailin' tonight)