08/13/2012 12:24 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

'50 Is the New Fail' (By Which I Mean, 'I'm Sorry About Your Birthday!')

Are you turning 50 or do you know someone who is?

Well, I turned 50 today.

And in honor of my failure to reach any of my stupid goals for this milestone birthday (except having GREAT FRIENDS), I give you this, from The Frenemy: