Let me take you through my latest trial/tribulation. They are always good for a lesson.
I am about 26 weeks pregnant with my third kid. Surprise, for those of you don't know! I'm pretty happy about it, but after 10 years full on in the work force as an executive, it's hard to imagine the additional work/life balance I'm going to have to design. Okay, I'll say it straight: I've been in denial. I sleep a little more (and less comfortably) but that's the only adjustment I've made.
Well, the only physical adjustment. There has been a change in my thinking too. Occasionally, I have this thought: I should be preparing for my birth! Duh, right? Especially since I had two really miraculously wonderful births in the past, the last one being unmedicated and nearly pain free. I attribute the natural, spiritual, enjoyable birth experience I had to all the mental, physical and spiritual preparation I did. And yet this time, I've been acting like I'm exempt.
I was able to mostly put this out of my mind until a few weeks ago when my midwife called me and asked me to call her back. I'm so skilled at denial I could not imagine what she was calling for. I almost ignored it but hey, I like talking about my baby so I called back. As I am sure you can guess she said something I did NOT want to hear. My latest blood test had come back positive for Rubella!
I was stunned and worried.She didn't know much about what meant yet so I was left with the Internet (bad idea people). It didn't take much time for me to have concocted a full on fantasy of my future life, where all waking moments would be dedicated to taking care of a special needs child. Now don't get me wrong, I could have handled it, and I know, respect and admire many people who do, but my point here, is that I did not want to have rubella and all the complications for a baby that go with it. My mind, usually well-tamed, became the wild, wild west, even though I barely had any information. Luckily, my coach smacked me upside the head quickly and pointed out that it was likely a false positive as I surely did not seem to have Rubella. True. Now my job became directing my mind to better thoughts and actions.
- Schedule a re-test
- Learn how common false positives are and other possible causes of positive reading (in other words, believe I do not have it)
- Figure out the lesson in all of this.
#3 was most potent and I'm really glad coaching reminds me to do this and I listen.
As I thought about it, I was struck by an idea. My baby is trying to get my attention. I know how this works because my other children do it too -- sometimes in exactly the same way, by suddenly having some illness or injury that gets my attention! Okay, so let's say that's true. That would mean that I need to start paying attention and stop being in denial.
This was one of those banner moments in coaching (please comment below about one of yours) where things all come together and you get that "lifted" feeling. It occurred to me, what if starting today, I stop procrastinating and get started with my birth prep. Crack out my old book, start my daily practice of self-hypnosis and breathing techniques and set a day to organize all the hand me downs?
The answer: I'd feel great and powerful and like I was honoring my baby.
I think the universe liked this idea and the fact that I "just did it." Because, within two days, I got back a negative result on my Rubella test and my back pain subsided a great deal too! Those were the physical benefits. Mentally, I started feeling more relaxed, proud of myself for taking action and just generally "on top of" my life. But the thing that made me so proud is that I practice what I preach, something that's a little counterintuitive:
Change your thoughts before the circumstances; don't wait for the circumstances to change in order to change your thoughts.
This is such a powerful lesson. Now, the facts may have gone a different way, but I like to think I have a say not only in my reaction to things but actually in the results I get in my life-the good, the bad and the ugly. And when I get an ugly "result," I like to think there is a lesson that will lead to a great(er) result, especially if I figure it out fast. Are you on this path too? Please leave a comment below if so or ask a question. It's such an empowering way to live I wanted to share my example with you. I'd love to hear yours.
P.S. I am leading a "Just Do It" 4-week teleseries in December because I knew I would likely still be being bratty about the final baby prep-especially the stretching, exercising and planning for life with baby! Everyone will take on a project or pursuit they are dying to get to before the end of the year and JUST DO IT. Together we'll make it happen. Join us!