12/11/2012 07:42 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Jeremy Renner: One Night Stand or the Marrying Kind?

When you begin your entertainment writing career as a fan you walk in with a lot of preconceived notions and a lot of misconceptions about actors. You think they must be so much like their characters you've grown to love. But you quickly learn they are not. They are their own person with a skill to become every woman's fantasy, which in their own reality can be a nightmare. The truth is you stop having favorites and you stop being a fan.

When it comes to Jeremy Renner however, something is different. Something about him runs deeper with me than just "that hot actor guy." I haven't felt this way about a talent in a long time. I love this man. I've seen every single thing he's done and then watched it again. I've been a fan since 2002 when he did Dahmer because I love my weird serial killer movies. I've followed him ever since. Then he got huge and it was bittersweet. I'm happy for him, but I figured he'd probably change. Hollywood changes people. Either way though, he's my new Matt Damon. I feel he was actually put on this earth to make me smile. I need more of that in this life. But at the same time "boy's got some issues." This leads me to ask the question:

Jeremy Renner: One Night Stand or the Marrying Kind?

1. Jeremy constantly says he's lonely in interviews. However, he also says that "any woman would take a No 2. seat to my job" (1). Ladies, not sure about you but that doesn't sound so great to me. If I'm going to be dating Jeremy Renner I want to know I'm his earth, moon and stars. Would you be able to handle coming in second place to Hawkeye and Aaron Cross?

2. Jeremy has had a serious girlfriend in the past. However, when he was in the middle of his Oscar nod craziness for The Hurt Locker she was trying to get her acting career off the ground. This wasn't working for him as he quotes "I was going through the Hurt Locker campaign and she's like, 'Where do I get headshots?'"(2). To me this says he wants a suitcase partner. Someone who can pack up and put their life on hold and follow him around with no strings attached. For some women this is a dream come true. Travel the world in luxury, be there for your famous boyfriend when he needs you and just chill out. But for some they'd miss their family and lose a sense of who they really are. How would this work for you, could you give up your identity for a celebrity romance?

3. Renner has a bit of a bad boy streak in him and at 40-plus years-old is that ever going to end? While it's sexy in the movies, is it sexy to have to worry about what story you might wake up to every time he's on location? I can just hear my mother now. No amount of money and fame is gonna shut her up if my partner is humiliating the family in any way. Even if yesterday he was participating in mine clearing efforts in Afghanistan.

4. He has sisters. Okay, I know a lot of people have sisters but I can barely get along with my one sister, so add two more to the mix and I might just be out. Sisters are so much drama and Jeremy is the big brother figure in the family. I can't even imagine what might go down if he brought home a serious girlfriend after becoming a huge celebrity. Hey, maybe they are the sweetest women in the world and I'm praying for his sake they are. But the thought puts ice water in my veins.

5. He has a Bromance. You know, a boy best friend that seems to take up any of his extra time. Think Chandler and Joey of Friends fame or Abed and Troy from Community. These two own a business together that they put a lot of time into. Would you ever be able to come between him and Kristoffer Winters or would it just be yet another obstacle in his life you can't push past?

6. Jeremy smokes. Dealbreaker for many. One of my friends just died of lung cancer at 34 years-old leaving behind a preschool son. He never smoked. But you get the point. I don't think I could even kiss Jeremy with smoke mouth. I'd have a migraine immediately. I get that a lot of actors smoke because it's one thing they can do to get away and they control it. They control so little in their life. But I'd worry about him all the time. Just thinking about what those carcinogens were doing to him. I already worry about him and I don't know him. Of course I could hope he'd love me so much he'd quit because he'd realize how every time he took a drag off that cigarette it was that much less time he'd have with me. But probably not. Would this bother you?

For Heaven's sakes Jeremy, are you reading this story, do you see the walls you throw up? Or maybe this is just one huge story that some women read as the greatest love story ever told?

I want to hear your opinions on whether you think you could adjust your life to fit the part of one of Hollywood's biggest celebrities significant other!

As far as my opinion goes, well, I think I'll hold this card close to the vest. My Renner feelings are something I hold dear because quite honestly I don't have a lot left at this point with Hollywood.

*This story is written fully in jest or gimmick and I wish Jeremy Renner nothing but the very best in his personal life and career.