Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen Season 2, Episode 6 of HBO's "Girls" titled "Boys."
After last week's controversial Hannah/Joshua episode, I was beginning to worry that "Girls" had slipped into a sad, dream-like state in which Hannah would hopelessly drift around Brooklyn thinking about her terribly shitty life. Luckily, I was wrong.
Not only were the other girls back with a vengeance this week, but the boys got some quality screen time in as well. With 1 being the least together and 10 being the most together, see how each of the girls (and one of the boys) scored in this week's episode of "Girls," "Boys."
The great thing about hitting rock bottom is that it only gets better from there, and things finally started to look up for Hannah this week. After telling Ray that the Grumpy's work environment was a toxic and leaving in the middle of her shift (am I detecting a pattern here?), Hannah still magically has her forty-dollar-a-day-job.
Even better, the episode opens with her getting an e-book deal and subsequently vomiting on the sidewalk to the disgust of surrounding brunchers.
"I can't believe you have a signed book deal. That's like so adult and intriguing!" Shoshanna tells Hannah when she gets the news.
It is intriguing, and definitely more adult than anything else she's done, but she only has one month to write it. To make matters worse, the only line she's gotten out thus far is "Her name was Murjashihaway."
Hannah's writer's block may present a few problems in getting her e-book off the ground -- she's googling weight loss articles as a procrastination method -- but she's determined not to let anyone know she isn't cranking out 20 pages a day.
Instead of seeking support and inspiration from her friends, Hannah tells Jessa she has a lot of great ideas and calls Marnie to tell her she's getting a lot done. But where will her false productivity leave her when, 30 days from now, she has nothing to show for her hard work, but the name "Murjashihaway"?
Overall Togetherness: 6
As usual, Shosh has it together. She spends a ton of time thinking about her life goals, and her hairstyles keep getting more creative.
The same can't be said for her relationship, however. Four weeks in, she's already living with her boyfriend and getting more than a little frustrated.
"You're like Bella Swan, and I'm like her weird friend who doesn't understand how fabulous her life is because her boyfriend won't spend, like, four dollars on tacos," Shoshanna tells Marnie when she finds out her friend is hosting a party with Booth.
You see, Ray is a bit of man-child. He's 33 and isn't exactly the ambitious type. He's perfectly content mopping the floor at Grumpy's, and has only ever found inspiration in the notes his grandma used to scribble in the back of a copy of "Little Women."
"How exactly does she think 'Little Women' relates to your shit?" Shoshanna asks, confused. "Like does she think you're a Marmie or an Amy?"
Her relationship may be on the rocks, but at least she can pinpoint the problems with it. You know, his lack of drive and the taco dates.
Overall Togetherness: 8 ... minus one because she thinks her boyfriend could be "a Marmie."
Is it possible that karma is still biting Marnie in the ass because she strung Charlie along for all those years? It certainly looks like it.
As of late, Marnie has been spending most of her time at Booth Jonathan's spacious Brooklyn abode, listening to him talk about himself and watching him fire his assistants for taking bites out of his rosewater ice cream.
Although we all knew Booth was trouble from the beginning -- and that horrible art project didn't help -- Marnie can't seem to get a clue, even when he tells her he "doesn't care" about her relationship with Hannah and tells her to stop talking about it.
But when Booth asks her to host an upcoming party he's throwing, Marnie is over the moon. Hosting a party together is a big deal! She runs out and buys a new dress (it's plastic) and even invites Hannah because it's technically her party too.
The party's a hit. All of Booth's hipster friends show up and greet Marnie in a loving "you're-my-friend's-girlfriend" fashion, and Marnie's feeling pretty satisfied with herself by the time all the guests have left and she's putting away bottles in Booth's wine cellar (Wine cellar? Really? Could this guy get any worse?).
"So I'll just throw you like, five hundred?" Booth asks, and the spell is immediately broken. Since Marnie is a hostess for a living, Booth just assumed she was working for him. And by the way ... he wasn't aware he had a girlfriend.
Marnie abruptly bursts into tears and wails, "Usually when I think someone's my boyfriend, they're my boyfriend!"
She shimmies out of his cellar in her plastic dress, and just as she's getting off the subway, she gets a call from Hannah asking how her night was.
"It was really nice. It was perfect," she says. "We're just in Booth's garden. We're watching fireflies."
This scene is particularly heartbreaking. It's no secret that Marnie and Hannah have drifted apart, but the ex-best friends can't even confide in each other anymore. Marnie's just been treated like shit by a guy she thought was her boyfriend, and instead of running to Hannah for support, she just wants her to think she's happy. That she has it together.
Overall Togetherness: 3
Although we didn't see much of Jessa this episode, we do know she's a giant mess. She's living in Hannah's apartment (which she pays for how again?), falling asleep in the bathtub, and emerging only to ask Hannah where the dustpan is and to tell her that she's a "depressed person" and that no one will care about her "book of shit."
Way harsh, Jessa. But she has a bit of grace period. Her marriage wasn't a long one and divorce is tough on anyone. Although Hannah should probably caution her that falling asleep in the bathtub is dangerous.
Overall Togetherness: 2
Shoshanna thinks she has problems with the taco dates? Ray's really struggling. He swings by Adam's place to pick up his copy of "Little Women," which Hannah had left it there, and comes face-to-face with a fierce dog Adam stole from Staten Island.
Yes, Adam stole a dog from Staten Island. He has an explanation, but it mostly comes down to the fact that he felt like it. Having nothing better to do, Ray accompanies Adam to Staten Island in an effort to return the dog -- who Adam has named Dog -- to his rightful owner.
As Adam and Ray wander the streets of Staten Island together, they begin talking about their feelings. Ray admits that his relationship with Shoshanna is the longest he's ever had, and they seem like they're beginning a bit of a bromance ... until Ray takes a few digs at Hannah and tells Adam he doesn't find Hannah attractive. Ouch.
Adam takes off in an angry huff, leaving Ray alone on the street with Dog. He attempts to return Dog to his rightful owner, only to be met by an angry Staten Islander who tells him he's probably just an unemployed loser, to which Ray responds, "You have no morals because you were raised in a fuckin' trash heap!" Nice one.
By episode's end, though, Ray's pretty bent out of shape. He's left crying with Dog, staring at the water and thinking about the fact that his life is in pieces. And he doesn't even kind of have it together.
Overall Togetherness: 1
"Girls" airs on Sundays at 9 p.m. EST on HBO.