Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Season 1, Episode 3 of Fox's "The Mindy Project," titled "In The Club."
If you were starting to worry that Mindy Lahiri would die alone surrounded by cats, worry no more. She happens to be an expert at conquering the New York City club scene, and even knows how to reel in an NBA player or two.
After realizing how boring her Saturday night alone with a romantic comedy was, Mindy decides she needs some fun in episode 3 of "The Mindy Project." When she overhears her coworker Shauna's (Amanda Setton) tales of late nights, celebrities and tigers, Mindy decides to spice up her life by begging Shauna to get her into a club ... which leads to the entire office hopping on board for a night out in the city. Party time!
Mindy has a blast. After being rejected by one guy (he wasn't that cool anyway) and realizing Shauna may have a crush on Danny (really? him?) Mindy finds herself invited to the VIP area by a nerdy guy named Josh. The plus side? His friends are NBA players.
Meanwhile, in the men's bathroom, new hire Morgan (Ike Barinholtz) finds himself taking on the role of a restroom aid and gathering tips as people wash their hands. He continues to do so even when Jeremy discovers what he's been up to. Hey, there's nothing wrong with making a little extra cash on the side.
After Mindy says goodbye to the wildly handsome group of NBA players, Shauna admits that she likes Danny (Chris Messina). Mindy gets grossed out, says goodbye to the not-so-wildly-handsome Josh, and ...
What's that? Looks a teensy bit bummed out when she notices Danny getting into a cab with a girl. Is that a budding crush I see?
And now, on to those funny lines Mindy and the rest of the gang cranked out in their 23-minute Tuesday night run.
Romantic comedy-related lines:
Mindy, on her Saturday night activities: "I fell asleep watching the movie Amelie. And when I woke up, I had spilled so much red wine on myself I thought for a second I had been shot."
Mindy's conversation starter with the NBA guys: "Okay, favorite Tom Hanks romantic comedy."
Mindy, appalled by the NBA guys' answers: "'Apollo 13' isn't a romantic comedy, you guys!"
Arguably offensive lines:
Jeremy (Ed Weeks) on the girl he hooked up with last weekend: "I would hardly call this girl a supermodel. I think you need to be booking domestic covers before you call yourself a supermodel."
Shauna, on the phone with a club promoter: "I need to add a plus one at the club on Friday night. It's my boss, sort of a 'Make A Wish' thing."
Mindy, upon finding out she'd be at a club with NBA players: "Oh my God, I'm gonna be at a club where NBA guys are? This is amazing because black guys love me."
Shauna, to Mindy: "Keep your racism voice down!"
Mindy, to Shauna: "Black guys also love ass, which I happen to have a lot of, thank you very much."
Mindy, while she's ditching Shauna: "Shauna, I gotta go. I told you, black guys love me."
Josh, when he first meets Mindy: "I'm trying to guess your job based on your figure. Are you the mistress of a black congressman?"
NBA guy, calling out to Mindy: "Mindy, you left your pashmina!"
Josh, as he says goodbye to Mindy: "Nice talking. Maybe we can have a one night stand sometime."
Mindy, on why she'll totally fit in at a club: "I might be in my 30s in doctor's years, but I'm like 22 in club years."
Betsy (Zoe Jarman), in her pre-club excitement: "I am so excited. I ordered a new dress, Mom says she's almost done sewing the sleeves."
Mindy to Shauna, when she orders red wine with ice: "What? They didn't have sangria!"
Mindy, to fellow club-goers: "No wonder they call it the meatpacking district! It's so packed, am I right?"
Out of context and amazing one-liners
"Shauna, you look terrible and awesome. Did you party this weekend?"
"Drake showed up with a white tiger. The tiger left with Derek Jeter."
"My grandma had this saying. You work hard, you play hard."
"I have my Sudokus to do during boring songs."
"Woah, Doctor Castellano! You look handsome like a youth minister."
"It looked yummy like what a fancy alien would have at spaceship party."
"Weird, it's like if Hermione liked Voldemort."
"Damn it Morgan, I can not hear about your incarceration right now."
"Look, I'm very flattered by your lesbian overture, but I'm just not in an adventurous mood."
"You know what, you're better off. I think he's into weird stuff like biting. I think he like, cries when he has sex."
"The Mindy Project" airs Tuesdays at 9:30 p.m. ET on Fox.