06/11/2009 05:12 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

How To Live On $0 A Day: Bargain Hunting Tips For Corporate Execs

It's really not fair that we're so outraged at the spending habits of corporate executives. After all, aren't we applying our cultural standards on people to whom they're totally alien? Unlike most of us, they've never had to learn how to find a product at a fair and reasonable price. Unscrupulous merchants are taking advantage of their ignorance. Clearly, nobody needs our compassion and guidance more than these poor souls.

Let me be the first to extend the olive branch to corporate America with a few ideas on how to save millions of dollars on basic necessities. Let's start with something easy, like plumbing.

It's an easy mistake for a cloistered Wall Street executive to think that installing an $80,000 18th century commode in your office suite is a reasonable, cost-efficient way of dealing with pressing lavatory needs. You probably weren't even aware that there's a restroom down the hall. Or maybe you were aware, but don't have a Segueway to transport you.
There are quite a few other options if you really feel you can't conduct business without a toilet in your office. And the prices start at $5.49 (for a pooper scooper and roll of plastic bags). My recommendation is the Excret 4200 at $159.00. It also doubles as a chair, so you can auction off your current $20,000 Louis Quatorze desk chair at Christie's.

The total possible savings are $99,994.51. While that may seem like small potatoes to you in the scheme of things, remember, every little bit helps. At the very least you'll be able to take yourself out for a decent lunch.