02/19/2014 11:57 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Kitten Realizes He's Really Really Really Ridiculously Good-Looking After Watching Zoolander

Oh my gosh, you guys. The most amazing thing just happened to me.

Have you ever found yourself watching a movie and then suddenly a particular scene or character or line just changes your life? Maybe you found that moment while watching the idelibility of the human spirit represented in The Shawshank Redemption. Or maybe it was the power of love and tenderness found in The Notebook. Whatever cinematic moment speaks to you, I'm elated and proud to say that I too have found my own. I, Tater, after watching the classic and artfully done film Zoolander, now realize that I am really really really ridiculously good-looking.

Wow, it feels so good just to get that off my chest. It wasn't until I saw this movie that I realized that there were others out there who were also afflicted with the burden of being ridiculously good-looking -- it's a weight that I've silently been carrying by myself for quite a while now. But thanks to Derek and his team of models, I feel as if I could fly!

And not only have I found solace in knowing that there are other really really really ridiculously good-looking creatures out there, but I've been inspired. Derek Zoolander's signature "Blue Steel" look stirred something within me. I've been wasting so much time hiding my naturally beautiful light under a bushel, that I've done man and animal kind a disservice. I have a social obligation and responsibility to inspire both young and old alike with my perfectly symmetrical features and high cheekbones so that they too can look in the mirror and say, "Hey, world! I may not be as ridiculously good-looking as Tater, but by God I can go out and try my best."

So, it is with a sense of dignity and honor that I present for the very first time, my new signature look: "Soul Nova*."

*Warning: staring directly into the "soul nova" may cause internal combustion and heartburn.


Daytime Soul Nova


Bedroom Eyes Soul Nova


Metrosexual Shopping Soul Nova


"We The People Recycle" Soul Nova


Slightly Better Than You On A Baby Quilt Soul Nova


"To Russia With Love" Vodka Campaign Soul Nova

To be honest, there were quite a few more Soul Nova photos, but my computer screen literally began melting. Man nor machine is immune from the power of the Soul Nova. I can promise you this: I will wield my new-found power with respect, benevolence and philanthropy. After all, it's an ugly world out there -- someone beautiful has got to clean it up.

Thank you, Derek Zoolander. Thank you.

All photos courtesy of the author.