I saw you today. Spit up on your shirt, dark circles under your eyes and wrinkly pants... I saw as you lifted that baby girl to your chest, patted her back while gently swaying back and forth and humming her favorite song. You were glowing.
I know this is all so fresh. It's all new. It's a world you hoped for and when it came, it unlocked a part of you that you didn't know was there. It unlocked a lifetime of love, all stored up for those big, blue eyes.
I know this is a lot to take in. There is so much love and so much fear and so much happiness and so many new emotions. You're feeling it all. Exhaustion, happiness, desperation and sweet, sweet love.
I see you, Momma, and you are doing a good job.
There is so much advice out there. So many competing viewpoints. So many decisions and judgments and choices for you to make. It can feel overwhelming. There are so many people telling you to do this "parenting" thing their way, because it is the "right" way. There are so many moments when your parenting decisions get put on public display, and all you can do is carry on, even when judgmental glances bore into your back. It happens, and you can just let it roll off.
You want to know the secret that all those advice givers forget to mention? It's not about baby food. It's not about diapering. It's not about formula or breast milk or working or staying home. It's not about sleep methods or discipline methods or theories on parenting.
It's about moments. The moment that sweet baby looks into your eyes and you realize, you are their world. The moments when you let the everything fade away just to breathe in their scent and hold them a minute longer. It's in the moments when you put down the to-do list, and pick up dolls or cars and play. It's in the midnight wake-up calls when they just need to know you are near, those quiet moments when the chaos is quieted, and it's only the two of you. It's in the kisses on the "owies" and the "I love you's."
Remember this on the days that you doubt yourself. Remember this when you have regrets. Remember this when you feel like you have failed this in big ways and small.
It's the moments that matter. It's the love that matters.
It's that love that will carry them through. Carry them through the baby days, to the terrible twos, onto preschool and elementary and the rebellious teenage years. It's that love that will carry them through as they leave your home and start their own. It's that love that will carry them through, momma.
So as you sit there, sit a little longer. Whisper one more time how much you love her, and take in one more deep breath of her sweet baby smell.
There are many things you can regret in this life, but giving every ounce of love within you will not be one of them.
You're doing a good job, Momma.
You're loving that baby just as you should.