09/06/2011 04:56 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Slo Flo: The Christian Alternative to Tai Chi

Growing up the gay daughter of a Southern Baptist Minister, its safe to say I've experienced my share of excitable Christians. I recall a time when my preschool teacher asked if I would march my Animal Crackers two-by-two into a construction paper Ark; and then there was the camp counselor who asked if I would cast out demons at Jesus Camp (thanks to a trip to a Pentecostal Jesus Camp, but that's another story).

I grew up in a sub-culture of Christian music, Christian camps, Christian t-shirts, and Christian bookstores. From the time my feet dangled slightly over the edge of the pew to the time where they could be firmly planted on the floor, I've seen people incorporate Christianity into activities in all kinds of ways. And as an adult I continue to be amazed at the products people come up with that seem all but Jesus endorsed.

The latest product is one that allows your energy fields to get so fresh and so clean clean without betraying the principles of Jesus.

Enter Slo Flo, the Christian alternative to Tai Chi. Slo Flo was created by Laura Monica, a Chun Kuk Do Karate Black Belt who double times as a Christian Praise and worship leader. Slo Flo is when a group of Christians go into a field and combine hand movements with slow motion Bible verses using American Sign Language.

First of all, I think it's worth examining this from a Deaf person's perspective. I hope no Deaf person ever drives by and sees the Christians performing Bible verses in slow motion American Sign Language. I know I'd be freaked out if someone walked around speaking in slow motion and claiming it to be divinely inspired. Deaf people are going to drive by and think a group of Christians are having a stroke in the middle of a field.

And if you're like me, you didn't even realize that Tai Chi needed a Christian alternative. Have you seen the people who do Tai Chi? They are adorable! If they are satanic, they are satanically adorable. Like cats. But some Christians believe that Taoism is strongly tied to Pantheism and that any doctrine that identifies God with the Universe or the god in you or me is a spiritual path that is inspired by demonic sources.

Tai Chi is also linked to Taoism, which involves focusing just below the naval section of your body to become attune with the universe; and according to some Christians this aspect makes it impossible to reconcile with Christianity. Don't feel bad Tai Chi! Most things that involve focusing below the naval section of the body can't be reconciled with Christianity.

But I digress... to learn more about Slo Flo visit While you're there, check out the Christian Alternative to Yoga too. Til' next time!