THE BLOG
12/30/2014 08:26 am ET Updated Mar 01, 2015

3 Tips For Creating A Magical Dating Life After 50

Today I want to talk to you about three ways to get yourself out of a dating rut and into the magical dating life you desire. Often women come to work with me when they have hit a wall in their dating lives. Things aren't going well, they aren't meeting the guys they want to meet and even worse, no one is noticing them online or in the real world.

I want you to know that this happens to every woman at every level of dating. Believe me, I see it over and over again. I experienced it! And when it happens, it doesn't feel good. What ends up happening is you start blaming yourself because nothing you're doing seems to be working.

I've got three ways to help you get out of your dating rut and get you back out there having fun dating while finding a great guy at this time in your life. Ready?

Step 1 is to realize that you're not alone. When things don't go the way you think they should, you tend to think, "Well, everybody else is out there dating good guys. They're doing great." And you feel like no one else is frustrated and struggling with dating. It feels like you're the only one!

Well, that's simply not true. Why? Most women put their best self out there for the world to see. Think about how many times you didn't let anyone know when things weren't going well. I see it all the time ― women around the country and around the world― it happens to everyone.

Understand that even though it looks like everybody else is out there dating amazing men and you feel like the only one out who isn't.... it's not the case. Understand that and have some compassion for yourself.

Step 2 ― It's time to build your confidence back up. When it feels like nothing is happening in your dating life, it sometimes makes you feel depressed or has you doubt your attractiveness to men. The number one thing that needs to happen is building your dating confidence back up. In fact, this one thing touches every single aspect of your life.

Confidence touches how you will get out there and talk to the men you want to date. Confidence affects how you appear to men. Confidence affects the men you want to be attracting. It affects everything about your dating life so it's important that you really keep your confidence really high. I don't mean acting superior, conceited or egotistical ― it's an inner knowing that you're an amazing woman just as you are!

You've got to protect your confidence. The way to do this sounds kind of funny, but it works. I suggest creating a list of the amazing qualities you possess... 10-15 about your physical self, 10-15 about your personality and 10-15 about what you're good at and interested in.

Then every morning or every time you pass a mirror remind yourself of two or three of the qualities you love about you. You'll find that you start liking the woman you see in the mirror every day. And when you're having a bad day, you can give yourself a little boost of confidence using these lists.

I did this a lot, especially after a date went south. It was key in keeping my confidence up so I could get back out there and date when I didn't feel like it.

Step 3 is that we have to get you off the dime by taking action! If you stay at home thinking woe is me, or you sit around with friends complaining there are no good men out there to date... well, there comes a point where it has to end. You realize now that you're not the only one, that it's temporary. You've built up your confidence, so now it's time to get going and take massive action that's going to get you out there dating the guys you want.

Think about this... What did you used to do that got you dates with good guys, that you have somehow stopped doing? Did you used to try different online dating sites and you stopped? Did you talk to men in the real world, but then you stopped? Did you take classes about dating or even get group or one on one coaching then stopped using what you learned?

Listen, we're putting it all out here on the table. Did you get lazy? Did you start resting on your laurels? Notice what you used to do that you're no longer doing and then do that again.

Now I'd like you to think about what you are resisting.

What have you been resisting? Have you resisted trying out that new dating site? Write the things down that you are resisting and then take action on those.

Your Assignment for Creating a Magical Dating Life After 50.

You can have all these great ideas but you do not get results from things you do not implement. This is what I tell my clients all the time. The difference between a successful person and a person who struggles is that the successful person will do what others aren't willing to do. This is part of the mindset to get you out of your rut, past your obstacles and into the magical dating life you desire.

Take the 3 steps we just went through and put them to work. I used this process whenever I hit a stumbling block in my dating life. It works!

Once you understand that you're not the only one who gets in a dating rut, then build your confidence back up and start taking action to change your dating life, you'll see everything start to happen for you. Give it a try and let me know how it works for you!

Lisa Copeland is the best-selling Author and Dating Coach who makes finding a great guy fun and easier after 50. Learn more about how to meet great guys at www.FindAQualityMan.com.

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