I'm not sure how you all are feeling, but just gotta say the last few weeks have brought some seriously interesting times. I'm not one to follow astrology, but according to those that do, May 4 and the Scorpio moon has basically brought down the house (or houses as they say). I looked up at the moon that night and it was absolutely stunning -- sultry burnt orange-yellow perfection! And the Giants won with Bumgarner at the helm -- what more could you want? The Warriors? Ah, yes, I live in the San Francisco Bay Area.
At that point, astrology follower or not, it was clear something beyond normal comprehension was about to occur. For me, that became fact and a quick step down memory lane -- did I ask for that? Mmm, perhaps but definitely didn't see it coming, if you know what I mean. Sunday apparently brought a new moon in Taurus -- my particular sign, and I suppose not being a genius in this area, what I'd call movement similar to a heat sinking missile, or 20 as the case was.
The fact is that things in life do happen in a sequence we strive to understand. We can do so under the auspices of religion, astrology, spirituality and even the absence of anything -- although I do not recommend that particular path. For some of us, the last two weeks have brought a reckoning with the past, present and future in a way we'd prefer not to address in such rapid-fire succession. For me personally, I've pleaded for time, for space, for air. We cannot be asked to decide proper course when the world reigns down on us in this kind of fashion. To settle, to sit, to find calm in a storm is hard. It can even feel life threatening -- the air goes out of the room. I wrote recently that one of the hardest things to do in life is to wait, to be patient, and to sit in absolute faith that forces bigger than us know better and will help to place puzzle pieces we cannot position ourselves. That is the definition of courage.
I was shot out of the barrel a brazenly determined athlete, and this approach to life meant pushing beyond measure, never letting up. I am essentially Tom Cruise (in girl's clothing) in Top Gun. Sitting and waiting for anything in life seems horridly wrong, just until the point life serves up a challenge I seemingly can't handle. As you well know, catastrophic events are intentioned for us to learn, and to grow. Nearly losing my life in January was one of many particular challenges life served up to grow, to become better than I otherwise was, and for a particular purpose. Learning not to abandon oneself or one's wing men (or women) in life is a darn hard lesson to learn -- especially for self-sacrificing, selfless ones despite what it seems on the surface -- it is a matter of pride. For someone like me to sit and wait and rely on something I cannot comprehend seems unfathomable, but is precisely what was and is required. I'd prefer to shove pieces into place. Do you know this feeling? Somehow, quite certain that you do -- control freaks most of us are.
The reality is life is a dance of effort balanced with patience and trust. When I nearly lost my life, I promised myself I'd strive for simple balance. I recently took up surfing in extremely cold waters just to give myself a reality check in this department. Go the distance with yourself and grow in ways you don't think are possible. If patience is your problem, like me, challenge yourself to find and trust it. If you can't get up and go, then you know what you must do -- just do it. Come on, we're all in on this thing called life, and in viewing our strengths and weaknesses with blatant honesty we'll grow and be the ones we were asked to be. Show up and do what you must.
In closing, an in summation for the last two weeks and forevermore,
Mr. McCartney said it best (I edited for a few key phrases):
With a little luck, we can help it out. We can make this whole damn thing work out. With a little love, we can lay it down. There is no end to what we can do together. There can be no misunderstanding. There is no end to what we can do together. There is no end. The willow turns his back on inclement weather. We can do it, just me and you. With a little push, we could set it off. We can send it rocketing skywards. With a little love, we could shake it up. Don't you feel the comet exploding? With a little luck, a little luck, a little luck.