12/04/2014 11:50 am ET Updated Feb 03, 2015

Are People Around You Holding You Back?

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The people we spend the most time with become the common denominator for who we are and how we behave and show up in the world. Looking at it in the extreme, if you want to become a highly evolved person who wants to make positive changes in the world, hanging out with drug addicts or gang members will not support you in rising upward. Now I know that sounds really silly, duh! But, if everything is energy, who we hang out with has a huge effect on vibration--even when those people are only slightly below where we want to be. Whoever is in our proximity the most will be the common denominator for determining at what level we think and behave. The company you keep is critical in determining your success.

Time and Energy Wisdom: Spend time with people who energize you and support your dream.

Try this exercise:

1. Look at the seven people in your life you spend the most time with.

2. Write them down in a list.

3. Place a plus sign next to each person that is a positive and supportive influence in your life. In other words, you feel great around them, you enjoy being with them, they uplift and support you, and they give you energy.

4. Place a minus sign next to the people you spend time with that are difficult and take a lot of effort to be around. In other words, they bring you down; they can suck the life out of you.

*If there were no minus signs on your list, you are way above average in ensuring you surround yourself with supportive people. Congratulations!

*If you have one or more minus signs next to people in your life, I would bet these relationships are ones that feel obligatory. They are probably family members or someone that has been in your life a long time, possibly a spouse or long friendship.

Start becoming conscious and fully aware of who you give yourself and your time to. It is critical for your own journey inward and upward to only give yourself to those that give fully back. If they don't feed you, it's time to take a look at drawing some healthy boundaries in those relationships.

Remember, you have to be your biggest supporter and keeper of the gate of your energy. If they are family members, it may mean you learn to detach and love them from afar. It means that you choose how much time and energy you offer those relationships. If they only take from you and there is no return at all, detach and move on. Those people are like cancer to your spirit and self-worth. Think of a hot air balloon. The only way to rise up in the sky is to start dropping the sand bags. People in your life can be doing the same thing to you, holding you down. They can become weights that keep you from transcending to success, happiness, and your dreams.

Let go of feeling responsible for anyone's journey in life. It's arrogant for us to think we are responsible for another person's life or life experiences. That belief only keeps us from focusing on our own life, which we are totally responsible for. It's not your job to sacrifice yourself or allow yourself to suffer. Not only is this behavior counterproductive for your own life, it doesn't support or help the other person either. The most loving thing you can offer another is to be a role model for healthy boundaries and taking care of yourself first. Whether or not they choose to shift is not your business. You are your business. You are the one and only thing you can control during your life.

Let's say you are starting a new venture, getting married, getting divorced, or changing careers and your mother is not supportive and telling you all the reasons you shouldn't do it. You don't have to engage with her or have her approval; you only need your own approval. Her opinion is based on her experience and filters, along with her own fear. It doesn't mean she doesn't want the best for you. My own mother was notorious for telling me how I should decorate or how I should be raising my kids. To me, her unsolicited opinions came across as criticism and I would immediately become defensive. It created a lot of arguments and conflict in our relationship and it usually left me feeling like I was never good enough. This one response alone could have drastically changed the dynamics of our relationship:

"Thanks for sharing your thoughts or feelings, but this works for me!"

This response can save a lot of drama in our lives. It also requires letting go of needing someone's approval, but the gift you receive is the ability to tune into your own innate wisdom, which always knows your heart's desire!

To learn more, check out my new book -
WAKE UP, BEAUTY! It's not about the Prince or visit: