Divorce 101

How you spend the first few months after divorce will play a vital role in getting things back on track in your life.
02/25/2013 12:13 pm ET Updated Apr 27, 2013
Girl writing in notebook in a field.
Girl writing in notebook in a field.

How you spend the first few months after divorce will play a vital role in getting things back on track in your life.

Most people don't know where to begin after a divorce. After going through any tough situation, I always find that making a plan of positive action can be extremely helpful. However, you should always be realistic with the plan you're assembling. Aiming for targets that are within reach is important. Here are seven ideas for getting your life back on track after a split:

Create a dream board: You should create your very own dream board. It's easy to make. Buy a corkboard and put it up on the wall in your home. Then, cut out pictures from magazines of things that you want. If you want to take a vacation to Europe, cut out a photo of the Eiffel tower. If you want to be more relaxed, put up a photo of a sunset on a beach.

Lighten up: The divorce was a difficult process. It was emotionally draining. Remember to keep things light when moving forward. Avoid anything tinged with drama. Laugh as much as you can.

Be there for your family: If you have children, they need your support after the divorce. There are adjustments happening for them as well. Even if older kids can manage on their own, they will want to know that you're there for them.

Eliminate contact: Unless you have kids with your ex-spouse and need to make decisions about them, eliminate contact. Sometimes, the ex wants to stay in touch and keep the drama going after the break-up. Take a reasonable cooling down period instead.

Keep a journal: Writing things down always helps to put things into perspective. Keep a journal of how you are progressing in all aspects of your life. The process of writing a list of your goals will help give you a better perspective on what you actually want out of life.

See your friends more: You probably spoke to your friends about your ex so much that they considered changing their phone numbers. Yet, they were there for you during the break up. Now it's time to enjoy some good stuff together.

Enjoy a change of scenery: Traveling is a great remedy for getting past the divorce blues. You can take weekend trips with friends or your children and enjoy new places with new people. If you have the time to go abroad, do it now. A trip abroad will make you realize that there is a big world out there and your divorce is nothing but a small speed bump.

For more healing divorce tips, pick up Lois Tarter's new book The Divorce Ritual by clicking here.