THE BLOG
06/12/2015 01:20 pm ET Updated Jun 10, 2016

Memory Keeper's Movie

I could not be more relieved to be done with this. NOT because I can't wait to share my foibles, mistakes, and messy past year. No, that actually scares me a bit. I'm relieved because this "cute idea" that presented itself to me during meditation turned out to be a 30-hour project. Um, I have three kids = two nights of no sleep, lots of coffee, a numb-mouse finger, and way more emotions than I expected. I chose to create a video because it's something I don't know, I'm not good at, and it is outside of my comfort zone.

(Update) On 6.2.15 a friend offered to help, and reset the whole thing. So corrected time: 50 hrs.

Lesson: Roll with it. I cried (didn't scream). Then I realized there was a reason. Maybe it wasn't good the first time? Maybe it's still not? Ha. But I changed all the copy, used new pictures, and changed three songs. I see it as a challenge I received to be calm, flexible and do better. Just like all "difficult" things in life.

May, the month my father died, is when I will create a new movie every year. It will be a project of reflection, gratitude and acceptance of what was, has been, and is over. To capture all of it, and be honest about it.

He was so obsessed with memory-keeping. It felt like the appropriate thing to do. It's not all pretty, but it's real. It's honest. It's so much more than I thought it would be. My goal is small. Start a tradition for my family. If it happens to give someone else the idea to create a photo-movie montage focusing on that which they are grateful for, I would be over the moon. So, I hope it touches you. Not everyone will "like" it. Hell, I don't even "like" it all.

I've always been a firm believer that it's OK to be uncomfortable sometimes. If it's authentic and true, or brings light to a subject, a person, or an idea that I would normally put effort into avoiding, then I am in! (Now.)

So... Enjoy? No. Good luck? Ha. No worries. I warn you now it's 12 minutes long. So, there goes 99.99 percent of you.

(Covers eyes and holds breath)

MemoryKeeperMovie (A year in reflection and gratitude) from Lulu Salavegsen on Vimeo.

MemoryKeeperMovie (A year in reflection and gratitude) from Lulu Salavegsen on Vimeo.

***This video/post was originally published on 6.5.15 at A.shimmerinbloom.com