All of us have been programmed to believe thousands of lies -- about ourselves, about others, and about life. This programmed part of ourselves is our ego self, our false self, our dark side -- our "wounded self."
Our wounded self came into being for two reasons:
- As little children, we believed many of the lies we were told by parents, siblings, peers, teachers, TV, religious leaders, professionals and so on.
- As children, when we were treated in unloving ways, we may have believed that it was our fault. We needed to believe that we had some control over getting love, avoiding pain and feeling safe. In order to have this sense of control, we needed to believe the lie that we caused others to behave in the way they did. If Mom, Dad or other caregivers were angry, distant or abusive, we felt safer believing we caused it, because if we caused it, then we could find out how to behave differently to control it. Therefore, we accepted the lie that we caused it because we were somehow bad, wrong, inadequate, unworthy, unlovable, unimportant, not enough and so on. We accepted the lie of our core shame in order to believe that we caused others' behavior, so that we could have a sense of control over others.
Eventually, the wounded part of ourselves became who we thought we were. We lost touch with who we really are -- our beautiful, perfect essence, created in the image and expression of God. We lost touch with our authentic Self and became our false self, our wounded self.
Our wounded self is constantly telling us lies about ourselves and about how things are in order to have control over getting ourselves do it "right." The wounded self is constantly judging us with lies such as:
- She doesn't like me because I'm not smart enough.
- I didn't do it right enough. Now I'm in trouble.
- I'll never get this right. I'll never be okay.
- I'm such a jerk. How could I have said such a thing?
- Life is a losing battle. I'll never get anywhere.
- It's always my fault.
- I'll always be alone.
When we believe these lies, we end up feeling depressed, anxious, empty, angry, guilty, shamed, hurt or scared. Whenever we feel these feelings, it is always because we are believing a lie that our wounded self has told us. These painful feelings are Spirit's way of telling us that we are off track, that we are lying to ourselves.
In order to disempower the lies and judgments of your wounded self, you need to:
- Become aware of what you are telling yourself. you can do this by staying tuned into your feelings. As soon as you feel badly, ask yourself what you are telling yourself that is making you feel badly.
- Then ask yourself, "Am I 100 percent certain that what I am telling myself is true?" The chances are you will recognize that you have made up the lie that is causing your pain.
- Then ask the question, "What is the truth?" When you have a sincere desire to know the truth, the answer will come through you from your inner or higher wise self.
- Consciously bring the truth to the wounded part of yourself, and take action based on the truth. Over time, your inner dialogue will shift from lies to truth. Truth frees you from the painful feelings that result from the lies.
Instead of "She doesn't like me because I'm not smart enough," the inner statement might be, "She looks like she's having a hard time today." Instead of "I can't do it right enough. Now I'm in trouble," the statement might be, "There might be something interesting to learn with this person." Instead of "I'll never get this right. I'll never be okay," the statement might be, "This is an interesting challenge. I'm going to keep at this until I really understand it." Instead of "I'm such a jerk. How could I have said such a thing?" the statement might be, "I wonder why I said that? There must be a good reason." Instead of "Life is a losing battle. I'll never get anywhere," the statement might be, "Life is a sacred privilege of learning about love, and I'm going to keep on learning!" Instead of "It's always my fault," the statement might be, "There must be a good reason this is happening. I wonder what my part is?" Instead of "I'll always be alone," the statement might be, "I'm never alone. My spiritual guidance is always here with me."
The path to enlightenment is shifting out of the lies and into truth. Practicing these steps whenever you feel anything other than inner peace is a powerful way of getting there!
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