Coming Face To Face With Alzheimer's -- When You Can No Longer Deny It
Alzheimer's is, above all, an insidious disease. Its symptoms typically begin so mildly and progress so slowly that it's easy to deny them until one day there may be a 'defining incident;' an incident so bizarre, so far out, so outlandish that not even the spouse, child or other loved one can ignore it.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
When a person is beginning to show signs of Alzheimer's, that person and their loved ones are usually in denial. They may make excuses for, or try to explain away, the symptoms.
Alzheimer's is, above all, an insidious disease. Its symptoms typically begin so mildly and progress so slowly that it's easy to deny them until one day there may be a 'defining incident;' an incident so bizarre, so far out, so outlandish that not even the spouse, child or other loved one can ignore it.
Years may pass between the person's earliest occasional confusion and the 'defining incident.' And during those years, the person may annoy or even anger loved ones by being late, forgetting things, being short tempered and confused, and a whole host of other troublesome behaviors. The following is a case in point.
Advertisement
Ed, my beloved Romanian life partner, had been showing signs of mild confusion for some time. At first it had been little things like forgetting his wallet when going to Kroger's and leaving his headlights on when parking at the mall.
Twice he'd gotten lost coming to my house. Both times he'd gone to nearby houses and asked to use the phone to call me to come get him. Thank God he remembered my phone number.
And twice he'd called me early in the morning to report he'd been up all night searching for something he'd lost. Once it was his passport; the other time, his safe deposit box key. He never did find either.
Then he started mixing up proper nouns, referring to 'Kroger's as 'Stover's and the 'Medical Arts Building' as 'the 5/3 Bank.' And he'd confuse the names of people and places. He'd started calling ABC's George Stephanopoulos 'George Popadopoulos.' Even though the two names were quite similar, he never would have made that mistake before.
Advertisement
After that, he began forgetting to turn off the coffee maker and stove. Little things we all do occasionally, but they were happening to him far more often than to the average person.
He routinely forgot the names of common objects Once he called his eyeglasses 'com-poo-ters' and referred to his hands as 'elbows.' He didn't recognize his favorite talk show hosts' names and then he even started forgetting where he'd put everyday items such as, unbelievably, his clothes.
Sometimes he spoke Romanian to me, and that although he knew I didn't understand a word of it. But I still didn't connect the dots. Even when he was found driving on the wrong side of the road one night, I just viewed it as a temporary and isolated area of dysfunction -- not a sign of early Alzheimer's. Little did I know that it was just a matter of time until he wouldn't even remember he owned a car.
Then one evening Ed called me in a panic because he couldn't find his scissors.
"Go look in your kitchen," I suggested. That's where he kept them.
"Kitchen? What's a kitchen? I don't have a kitchen."
A lightning bolt seemed to hit me. This can't be happening. He can't be this confused.
"You know, Ed. Where your stove is."
"My stove?"
He didn't know 'stove' any more than he knew 'kitchen.'
"Your kitchen, Ed. Where your refrigerator is."
Silence.
"Oh, you're right," he finally said. "How silly of me. I do have a kitchen." Then he added, but it only has clothes and shoes in it."
"No, Ed. That's your closet. I'm talking about your kitchen."
After a while I got off the phone, never able to help him find his kitchen, let alone the scissors he'd been looking for when he first called.
Advertisement
My hands were shaking, my vision blurred as I finally came face to face with the tragic truth. Ed was developing Alzheimer's.
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.