07/03/2013 12:58 pm ET Updated Sep 02, 2013

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Within the last seven nanoseconds, this reporter has learned that the following advertisement will appear in the next issue of Sotheby International Realty's "Reside" magazine:

Sotheby's is proud to offer for your consideration an extraordinary property that has never before been on the market:


Sheremetyevo, home to the recently recertified Aeroflot Airline, is one of only thirty-two airports in the world that have been reviewed by the air travel rating firm, Skytrax, and is one of only two that has received two out of a possible five Skytrax stars.

The Airport's transit zone includes a Burger King, several Starbucks, an express hotel offering deep discounts to travelers who agree to check out within 24 hours, and Plexiglas barriers affording unobstructed views of the backs of 23 immigration control officers.

The highly motivated seller, who wants it clearly understood that it does not own the property, says that everything must go, including anything that can't go.

Those interested in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity may contact Sotheby's or any of the non-cooperating broker participants, including The United States of America, The People's Republic of China, The Russian Federation, The Republic of Cuba, and Just Plain Old Ecuador.

While the seller prefers an all-cash transaction, Visa will be considered.