THE BLOG
10/03/2006 06:31 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Hold The Front PAGE!!!

It was the booze...

NO!

Correction!

It was the priest!

The priest made me do it!

NO!

Correction!

He DOESN'T want to attribute any blame to the fact that he now claims he was molested as a teenager - but he now wants to put it out there.

NO!

He's a gay man!

(Well that clears up that mystery!)

HE'S A VICTIM!

So? Who gets the "get" of the first post-rehab interview? Oprah or Dr. Phil? Or maybe it should just be a surreality show...

"He has acknowledged full responsibility"

What exactly does it mean when someone utters those words? It is very easy to say. Only seven syllables. But what does it actually mean?

Incidentally - his attorney cannot be sure what faith the molester-priest was. He said it could even be a rabbi.

Note to George Allen - when taking your bar mitzvah lessons: make sure that the Rabbi doesn't come from Florida. Just to be safe...