THE BLOG
06/03/2011 06:04 pm ET Updated Aug 03, 2011

Rejected Recently? Read This and Regain Your Power

It sucks to experience rejection.

No one likes it. It's the bane of the dating and entrepreneurial experience.

As someone who has experienced rejection many times, I've figured out something. It's only truly rejection if you own the rejection. Rejection, at its core, is you rejecting yourself.

I know that sounds a little weird, so let me explain.

If someone "rejects" you, the way you feel about it is directly related to the story you tell yourself about it.

When you experience rejection with a disempowered attitude, you say to yourself something like: "I'm unlovable", "I'm not good enough", "I'll never find love" or "This is how it always happens".

But -- in reality, are those things true? What I've found is categorically -- "No."

Because I write and created The Daily Love, many people think I'm in a wonderful relationship. But I'm single. In fact I don't think there's anyone who needs TDL more than me. What I share with you every day isn't from a place of "greater authority", it's because I'm sharing every day what I'm learning. And let me tell you, I've learned a lot about rejection, both from women and in business.

The funny thing is, what seems like such a "disaster" in the moment, time and time again has been nothing short of pure grace. This isn't some Pollyanna, fakely optimistic point of view, either. I've looked back over the years at the people who "rejected me", and have seen how their lives turned out. Time and time again I see, by the reflection of my own life path, that there's no way in hell I would have been able to step into my power by forming a partnership with those people.

I hate it when people say: "rejection is God's protection"; it's so trite and does not help in the moment. But what I can tell you is that, in a Uni-verse where "like attracts like", if you're trying to fit a triangle into a circular hole, it just won't fit. It doesn't matter how pretty, attractive or interesting that circular hole is, aint no way a triangle is going in there.

What I've found recently is that instead of trying to force, I just keep coming back to my breath, to my joy of writing, to my exercise program and to my relationship with my creator. I don't cling anymore; instead I have figured out that I am a triangle, not a circle. And so in this realization, I no longer mourn not fitting with circles; I know who I am and where I fit.

So I focus on belonging to myself, to my creator and expressing my gifts. You could say I focus on "my game." Now every time I find myself straying away from remembering I'm a triangle, I stop, feel my feelings and let go of the outcome.

It's still not easy, but it's getting easier. At our core we all want to love and be loved. Just make sure it's not at the expense of breaking yourself to fit into a shape that isn't where you naturally belong.

Remember, you are only truly rejected when you own the rejection. If you see the Uni-verse as a giant sorting pile trying to find harmony and balance, you will see these temporary "rejections" as grace leading you to where and with whom you belong.