09/10/2012 02:29 pm ET Updated Nov 10, 2012

Saints Lose to the Skins? Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

It's a bad game when the Saints MVP candidate is Astroturf, as it had a better shot of tripping up Robert Griffin III than its defense. I must hand it to RGIII, however. He looked mature in his first outing and in time will emerge as a smarter, more controlled version of Michael Vick. And, that's gonna be dangerous for all us non-Redskins football fans. Goodness gracious, could they be a real team now? I feel a hairball coming up just thinking that. Bleh.

The Redskins had a balanced attack, with 44 rushes and 45 passes. That, coupled with the Saints lack of discipline, sloppiness, dearth in time of possession (39:10-20:50), penalties (12 for 107 yards), and turnovers (3-0) ensured a loss for the boys in the black and gold. There's no way that a team is going to win when a 12th man is skipping off the field, and, no one, not even a coach, urges him to run off. I felt so despondent after seeing that I started telling Chemistry Cat jokes. It made me smile. For a millisecond.

But that's not the point. I just can't lose like this -- we can't lose like this. I can handle a loss, but please, for the love of the universe, don't throw me back to the Saints of the 1980s. I saw that movie all through my childhood and I never, ever want to return to that horror show again. Ever.

This won't be a fun week for the Who Dat Nation. Yet, we'll get through this abominable week with the right amount of vodka and in the immortal words of Interim, Interim Coach Aaron Kromer:

This team is going to stay together because of their core and the character within it. As we went in that locker room after a tough day as we had could not have gotten any tighter as a group and said 'we are going to get this fixed.'

Cross-published at