12/02/2014 02:47 pm ET Updated Feb 01, 2015

Whole-View Perspective on Life and Love

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Is it selfish to say self-love is the most important love? I don't think so. I think its one of the most profound things a person can do for him/herself. Even if you're a parent, you have to know how to truly love yourself first. Children pick up on feelings and emotions more than they do words. How you feel about love will be a message you relay to your child on a subconscious level. If you don't truly love yourself, your child will grow up subconsciously not knowing how to love him/herself.

Every single thing that happens to us on the outside, be it family, work or health is a reflection of what is going on within us. So if you don't truly believe in yourself how can you expect your clients to believe in you? How can you truly teach your children that value? People wait to get validation from their peers, spouse or children. But the most profound and lasting validation comes from oneself. It is not arrogant to love oneself. Arrogance comes when a person thinks they are better than everyone, when they do not realize there is something great within each person. When you love yourself for all the right reasons, meaning it comes from a place of wholeness not fragmentation, then you will also be able to view everyone around you as whole. What does this mean? It means knowing your flaws and imperfections and still accepting yourself. It means knowing you are enough. This whole-view perspective of yourself gives you a whole-view perspective of life.

True self-love is realizing there are imperfections and accepting them. It is accepting the flaws mixed with the beauty. That is when the whole is loved. The same is true for relationships. When you accept your partner for all their good and bad qualities, then you love holy. When you approach your job as a continuous work in progress, even if you are labeled as an expert in your field, then you have a whole-view approach to your work.

Because the truth is, there is always room for growth; the human potential is limitless. And this underlying, unspoken vulnerability is what will attract friends and clients to you. Vulnerability is not picked up by the mind but by the spirit of those you communicate with. And what does it pick up? Truth. It picks up on the truth within you. The intelligence of the spirit knows only nature, hence God, are perfect. The rest of us are a work in progress. So to not act that you are perfect is to actually act in truth, no matter the 'expert' status that is placed upon you.

Again, this whole-being approach to loving oneself is not about perfection. It is about progress. It is about being comfortable in your skin as you accept this lifelong process. And it's a lifelong process because the further you expand your love and knowledge, the more you'll realize how infinite the path truly is. We always have so much more room for expanding our hearts and minds. And this shouldn't be discouraging. Instead, accept the path is a long one, spanning your whole life. Love yourself for how far you've come, not how much more is left. Accept the imperfections of yourself so you can accept the imperfections of those around you.

And these unspoken understandings you have about yourself and life will resonate. They will resonate onto your children, your prospects, your friends and anyone else whose path crosses with yours. To love through an imperfect sense of wholeness is not only beautiful; it is real. We live in a world where people have their guards up. But guards are not attractive. Truth is attractive; acceptance is attractive. There is more to the underlying truth of real love than meets the eye.
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