05/29/2012 12:10 pm ET Updated Jul 29, 2012

My Life With a Portuguese Water Dog: 10 Things I've Learned in the Eight Weeks Since Becoming a Puppy Owner

Never ever having had a dog before, I was in for a real treat! I had heard that Portuguese Water Dogs were warm, loving and easy to train. Hmmm, I should have listened to the warnings of my friends -- the ones that actually had Portuguese Water Dogs. It wasn't so much the words as the tone in which they said seemingly innocent statements:

Me: "I'm getting an 8-week-old puppy."
First Friend: "Oh -- you're getting a puppy puppy."
Me: "Huh?"

Me: "I'm getting an 8-week-old puppy."
Second Friend: "Oh -- why not get a 9-month-old instead?"
Me: "Huh?"

I should have listened.

Well, it's been eight weeks now and there are the 10 things I've learned since becoming a puppy owner:

1. Apparently, it's okay to bite the hand that feeds you (repeatedly).
2. The size of the dog is not proportional to the size of the poop.
3. Puppies are never finished pooping when you think they are.
4. A 4-month-old puppy can go through four leashes in eight weeks.
5. A puppy will follow you around for about forty minutes until feeding time.
6. Puppies are smarter than most MENSA members.
7. It takes three family members to tire out one puppy.
8. Puppies are fearless -- especially when it comes to adult German Shepherds, Pitbulls, and Berneses.
9. Puppies are cute on purpose -- it keeps them alive.
10. Pecking order in my home: Husband; 14-year-old son; 4-month-old puppy; me!

Still, I love the little guy! He makes me feel ... Oops, gotta go -- someone wants out now!