09/12/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

The Top Nine Reasons to Attend the New York Comedy Festival

9. Patton Oswalt is even more endearing live than as a computer-animated, chef hat-wearing, talking rat.

8. You've always heard that Tracy Morgan is a lunatic on stage, but you've never experienced it for yourself.

7. "Wait, isn't Bill Burr the white guy from the Chappelle Show? And isn't Mike Epps the black guy from The Hangover? I love racial typecasting!"

6. Between Italian comedians Artie Lange and Mike Birbiglia, you'll feel like you're in one, big Olive Garden commercial.

5. For the ladies: Bill Maher does social commentary. For the guys: Chicks dig social commentary.

4. Liking Dane Cook is retro-kitschy-cool right now. Plus the guy has some pretty good new material.

3. You were too embarrassed to buy tickets to Justin Timberlake, but you spend long nights agonizing over missing Andy Samberg do "Dick in a Box" live.

2. You can finally see why all your jerk friends prefer Ricky Gervais' British Office to the American version.

1. The New York Comedy Festival has got the best lineup of performers and venues this side of the Hudson River, the East River, or really any river.