While you certainly don't have to pretend that everything is roses, I suggest trying to identify things about yourself, about dating, or about your life that you do like, in order to help you reframe your mindset.
I want to pour this love over you until every inch of you is covered like the ice cream at the bottom of a heaping hot fudge sundae.
When I was single I experimented a great deal to see what really worked in getting and keeping a guy.
We have grown so accustomed to meeting others' standards that we may not know what we want in a relationship. But in learning to love ourselves, we look for partners who will love us in return, and write off those who will bring negativity and judgment into our lives.
I'm pretty sure there is no box for that. You might need a suitcase for all of that. And knowing that will not likely help you to relate to me, understand me or know me any more than you did five seconds ago.
I'm a victim of the messages we get hundreds of times a day telling us subliminally and literally that sexual activity is the gold standard and if you're not having any, you're missing out. You're marginalized. Your life is stagnant. How liberating would it be to just let that go?
I grew up thinking I'd marry a Jewish man. My mother and her parents had left Poland during the Holocaust and had ended up in Israel, while my father's parents were Orthodox Jews, with my grandfather the clear patriarch of the family.
When things get tough, I'll panic and dig through the vault of reasons why we shouldn't be together. All the doubts and negativity manifested in my head, the silly notions that he secretly wants to get back with his ex, or I'm better off alone, leave my heart shattered
If someone had tried to convince me to move to the Bay Area to improve my dating odds a few months ago, I probably would've balked at the idea.
I'd always been afraid, enmeshed, hooked in, jealous and obsessive. Terrified of being abandoned but also terrified of anyone getting too close. But if I don't belong to anyone and no one belongs to me, I am free. They are free.
My twenties were amazing. And horrible. At the the same time. I lived in New York with no money, too many roommates (and roaches!) and spent my days chasing my dreams and breaking my heart.
When my girlfriends come to me for advice about the guys they're dating, I don't advise them from a gay point of view: I come from my straight guy "Mike" perspective, just like the guys making them insane.
Were you the tidy one, always doing the dishes? Your next squeeze will keep the kitchen clean enough for neurosurgery and you'll be accused of leaving too many coffee cups unwashed.
While you're thinking: "I've never been with a PwD before," I'm thinking, "I've never been with someone who was REALLY okay with my disability." You: Who takes care of him? Me: Will they help me if I need it? How do I ask?
Creating any kind of venture takes time, effort and commitment. You need to invest in whatever venture you are building, be it in business or love.
The person who you are sitting across from on this an inaugural date may end up being the person who is still sitting with you at 80, when you're wrinkly and up a few bucks in a game of bingo.