12/23/2010 01:19 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Why I Feel Sorry For Celebrities

Here I was, all set to write a tongue-in-cheek article called "The Top 10 Celebrity Self-Sabotagers of 2010".

Replete with the usual suspects like Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan - along with newcomers Jesse James, Ben Roethlisberger, Christine O'Donnell , and 2010's #1 self-sabotager Lebron James - I was feeling pretty good about my list.

Until I got to thinking about today's celebrities.

See, it used to be a lot easier to be a celebrity. You had the Hollywood studio machine that carefully controlled the public's exposure to you. Stars were packaged like gods and goddesses, super-beings who were not only above, but simply different from the rest of us mortals.

Today, you've got Snooki.

We live in what one of my teachers calls The Attention Economy. When I was growing up in Maine, there were four channels (including PBS), plus Channel 56 in Boston if you held the rabbit ears just right.

Today, there are hundreds of cable channels, billions of web sites, too many emails, and more tweets than we can possibly pay attention to.

Yet the human brain has not changed since I was a kid. The human brain can only handle so many inputs at a time. With too many sources vying for our attention, it's only natural that we have to filter out far more than we let in.

Which brings me back to why I feel sorry for today's celebrities.

Gary Vaynerchuk of WineLibraryTV puts it this way (I'm paraphrasing): "If I had appeared on Carson, I'd be a legend. I've been on Conan. That puts me on the Z-list."

So, rather than pile on 2010's celebrity self-sabotagers, here are four ways to avoid being on this list next year - and avoid the need to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory:

1. Get rid of the yes-men. Many celebs have grown an Entourage of Enablers - hangers-on who make sure the celeb gets anything they want. But "getting anything you want" isn't always good for you. (Just ask Tiger Woods.) So, dump the yes-men and bring in people who will tell you the truth, even when you don't want to hear it.

2. Use Afformations. Afformations are empowering questions like, "Why am I enough?" and "Why am I so fortunate to be who I am?" Using Afformations will switch your brain from beliefs of not-enough to beliefs of enough. For free samples of Afformations, visit and .

3. Find a Loving Mirror. A Loving Mirror is someone who sees you for Who You Really Are, not who your publicist says you are. Many of the multi-millionaires I've coached didn't have anyone who loved and appreciated them just for BEING, only for their accomplishments. The trap here is the belief, "In order to be loved, I have to keep doing more and more." The human soul will always rail against that belief; hence, the self-sabotaging behavior.

4. Focus on what you have, not what you lack. America is suffering from the disease of "not-enoughness". We truly believe there's not enough work, not enough money, not enough love to go around. When you focus on what you lack, you will create more feelings of lack.

But when you focus on what you HAVE, you will create the feeling of having. Happiness is equivalent to "I have what I want." When you focus on all that you have, your feelings of happiness will naturally increase - and it's awfully hard to sabotage yourself when you're truly happy.

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Noah St. John is the inventor of Afformations and author of the bestselling book The Secret Code of Success: 7 Hidden Steps to More Wealth and Happiness (HarperCollins).

Stephen Covey says, "Noah's Secret Code of Success is about discovering within ourselves what we should have known all along - we are truly powerful beings with unlimited potential."

Noah coaches conscious entrepreneurs to DO LESS and HAVE MORE. He's been featured on CNN, ABC, NBC, in The Washington Post, Bottom Line/Personal and Parade Magazine.

Get the first 3 chapters of Noah's Secret Code of Success FREE at