Would invisible candidate Cort have a quick trigger finger? Thompson gathers troops, but is not overly ambitious or optimistic. Hunter says he'll go all out in Florida.
The following piece was produced through the Huffington Post's OffTheBus. Edited by Richard Riehl and Denise Wheeler. Reported by Kirsten Anderson, Ken Bank, River Curtis-Stanley, Jodi Lampert, Julie Pierce, Debbi Plummer, and Theresa Weathers.
Be afraid, be very afraid: Alabama psychiatrist and "counter-terrorism expert" Dr. Hugh Cort declared his intention to stay in the race, with an ad showing him standing in front of the U.S. Capitol, pledging to thwart what he calls Osama bin Laden's "American Hiroshima" plot to detonate nuclear weapons in U.S. cities. In amateurish special effects, the Capitol becomes a mushroom cloud. We at Roadkill don't know whether we should be more frightened of being vaporized by bin Laden or a paranoid psychiatrist with his finger on the nuclear trigger.
He"s the candidate you'd most like to have a beer with: In a speech in South Carolina Wednesday, Fred Thompson said he is not "eaten up" with political ambition and declared the country won't be energy independent in the next few years, boldly reaching out to voters who are tired of overworked politicians who don't keep their campaign promises.
He won a Wyoming delegate with one hand tied behind his back: Duncan Hunter's Florida campaign manager, in an email titled: "Watch NH Make Duncan Hunter Grow in Florida!" explains his single-digit candidate's campaign strategy thus far: "Duncan Hunter has not been expending heavy resources on targets of marginal value like IA and NH. He's only gone through the motions to take advantage of free media opportunities." Watch for Mitt and Huck to go negative now on the stealth candidate who's pulling out all the stops in Florida. By the way, he can get you a great deal on a bridge in New York.
The only thing missing is Crazy Horse: It looks like Fred may be taking his "Stormin' the South" strategy a bit too far. While attempting to drum up support in South Carolina this week, Fred staked his claim at a pancake house in the northern part of the state. "I don't know any better place to stand my ground and test my case than in SC," Fred told the crowd. He then marched on to Hudson's Smokehouse in Lexington. "This is where we make our stand. This is where I have chosen to make my stand," Thompson declared. Images of a desperate Custer, trapped on a desolate ridge with his outnumbered troops, come to mind. Let's hope Fred doesn't shoot his horse, too and start barricading himself in one of those smokehouses.
Rudy Campaign no longer MIA: We were starting to worry, but rest assured. The missing Rudy campaign has been found alive in South Carolina. Thanks to an intrepid reporter at the Palmetto Scoop, a happy band of Rudy supporters were seen putting up signs for Rudy in Columbia this week. In fact, according to the reporter the faithful supporters appeared quite happy to be plopping signs into the dirt. Still no sign of Rudy of course, but at least the signs are doing well.
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