03/14/2014 05:04 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

A Grandpa's Guide to Internet Fame


Many people ask me how, at age 78, I managed to accumulate such internet popularity. The web is a young people's game, they say. But I beg to differ. When you're my age, becoming a viral sensation is easier than putting on your dentures.

While young people who wish to gain web success need to find their talent, create something original, or at least have a cute pet they can videotape, as an old man, all I have to do is show up. Simply being able to upload a video of myself to YouTube is impressive to those idiots. Scratch that, simply saying the words "YouTube" without shaking my fist or soiling my adult diaper is considered a highly entertaining trick. "Look at that old man," they'll say, while sharing my clip with their friends. "He's as old as my grandpa, but he just said the word 'selfie.'"

I have found that young internet dwellers are especially fond of when I utter the names of current celebrities, or make pop culture references in general. One of my most beloved and viewed videos is one in which I discuss my opinion about Jennifer Lawrence's role in The Hunger Games. Those poor saps find it so amusing that I went to the theater and saw this film, instead of watching 60 Minutes and falling asleep on the couch, that they would actually sit down and watch me talk about it for 12 minutes. I don't even have to say anything of importance. I just need pick a random quote from the film and repeat it. Me saying "May the odds be ever in your favor" turned into a Tumblr-animated gif set.

For the last two years, I've been making an honest living off the money I make from my YouTube channel, as well as many television interviews and podcast appearances. I don't even have to show my face! Just my voice is enough for the poor saps. Sometimes I make myself sound extra old, just to mess with them. If it's a TV interview, I show up with a cane, even though I walk perfectly fine.

I don't know what is the fascination kids have with laughing at our generation. But I use it to my advantage. If you're old and have even the slightest understanding of technology, I encourage you to go out and make an Internet presence of your own. You wouldn't believe how easy and effortless it is to become popular these days. To get you started, here are some names you can incorporate into your videos to get young people to laugh. Try and say them with small errors. It helps remind them that we're old and outdated. Like Justin Beaver, Kenya West or Doctor Whom.

I put out about two videos a month. If it weren't for cats and babies, I'd be a millionaire by now.