05/09/2013 02:40 pm ET Updated Jul 09, 2013

5 Unconscious Habits That Block Your Inner Peace

There are many different ways to attain inner peace, tranquility and serenity. Practicing meditation, affirmations and breath work are a few good ones. However, sometimes hidden blockages exist that may prevent you from attaining that inner calm you seek. These hidden blockages are unconscious habits seated within your conditioning, patterns and thought processes. Unfortunately, these habits may be so ingrained that you may not even know you have them. However, once identified, these habits can be broken so that new thought processes may form and take hold. Some popular unconscious habits many of us have, along with ways to break them are listed below:

Drama. Life happens. We all are subject to unforeseeable events that occur without warning. However, many people have the habit of automatically reacting with fear. If you react with fear, you lose your equilibrium and peace. Understand and accept you can't prevent, control or influence these events. It's in your best interest -- and the best interest of those around you -- to detach from the drama, accept the situation at hand and respond appropriately (instead of emotionally reacting with fear). Breathe deeply while doing so to help that process along. Know that these events won't last forever. And trust that there is a Divine order to life that will eventually reveal blessings as the chain of events unfold. Break the habit of reacting with fear by letting go.

Dependency. Who or what do you need to feel good? These "needs" can become dependencies which are habits in the unhealthiest of forms. The interesting truth is there is nothing outside of you that can truly make you feel good. Your willingness and desire to just be happy is all it takes. However, if you are dependent upon somebody or something to make you feel good, you're in trouble. You won't be able to truly attain inner peace if your happiness is dependent upon something. Take charge and resolve to no longer emotionally rely upon anyone or anything to make you feel good, and you'll liberate yourself immensely.

Entitlement. Entitlement is simply fear in disguise. This habit is actually overcompensation by the ego to get what you need (or believe you need) to make you feel safe and secure. But it doesn't work. It keeps you stuck in lower vibrations of fear and keeps you from being grateful. Gratitude, when practiced, feels really good -- doesn't it? Humbleness for all that exists within and around you adds to your joy. Pay attention to when you feel entitled to have something and resolve to let that go. When you do, gratitude will naturally take its place thereby freeing you from the habit of entitlement.

Comparison. This is probably the most common unconscious habit humanity has today. Comparison is posturing of the ego to keep you separate from experiencing your true self, separate from greater intimacy with others and even separate from the Divine. When you compare yourself to others or when you compare others to others, you put yourself into a cycle of constant need to be "better than." This, in turn, simultaneously reinforces a core belief that your are somehow "less than" already. This is all based on a lie about who you are! By comparing yourself, you're reinforcing the lie that you're not already perfect as you are. So, get to the truth of who you really are and drop your habit of comparing yourself.

Cynicism and Pessimism. These two habits often go together. A generally negative outlook on life and on people will inevitably create more negativity within. It's imperative for your peace to monitor your thoughts, attitudes and beliefs to remain positive and open to trust. This isn't always easy to do with the inner defense mechanisms always stepping in. This inner defense mechanism has merely been created by your ego to protect you from being hurt by life and/or by other people. Yet the truth of your spirit knows it can't be harmed -- ever. Your spirit, soul and true self is eternal in love and truly doesn't require protection. Your ego, on the other hand, does get easily wounded. Trying to protect your ego however is futile because your ego is false (remember it's based upon a lie about who you are). So, the only way to solve this conflict between your ego and your true self is to let down your guard and open your heart to an overall trust of life and of people. Trust will break the habit.

Pay attention to when these habits arise and follow the suggestions to break them so you may finally attain your inner peace. It may take practice at first, but these suggestions will eventually become new habits that will help you feel calm and serene in everyday life. Make this practice your priority and you'll be bubbling over with inner peace.

Pamela is now offering in-person sessions at Illuminations Of Gaia in Townsend, MA in addition to her phone and remote healing sessions. Please contact her at or visit for more information.

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