THE BLOG
11/27/2016 08:17 am ET Updated Nov 19, 2017

How To Become A Sexually Empowered Woman

There is a "Divine Feminine Goddess" movement afoot. A movement encouraging women to embrace pleasure, erotic energy, sisterhood, and saying the word "Pussy" to be able to move more deeply into their own power and autonomy. We have all been taught to suppress this notion of a powerful sensuous Goddess living inside ourselves and through that suppression, we have also suppressed the erotic. This is true across gender lines, but it's women who have been the most carefully taught. It has been drilled into our feminine heads that it is only through the suppression of the erotic, the sexual, and the sensuous that the world community will respect us. Somehow it is only through the suppressing our sexuality that we will achieve in the world -- yet this notion could not be farther from the truth.

So we learn to hide our sexual connections, desires, and even our sex positive friends. We don't want guilt by association. It's through this learned erotic suppression that women have learned to distrust our own bodies and join the cult of self-loathing women.

I invite you not to dismiss the erotic. For when we do, we are turning away from our own organic power source. When we buy into this belief that woman can only achieve greatness by denying our sexuality -- we learn to deny it, or believe that it does not belong to us -- we stop exploring it. We turn away. And we give up a wealth of information and understanding about the uses of the erotic in our lives. We literally zap our power. The truth is, you may be powerful and successful right now in this place of erotic suppression. You may be making six figures, and be in the lime light.

Imagine what you could be doing and feeling if you had it all: full access and understanding for the uses of erotic energy in your life.

How do we allow our precious selves to live a life without access to our own fullest potential?

What is there about this paradox of beliefs? If we are taught to keep our sexuality small in order to achieve professionally or in relationship and our true power lies in learning how to access and use the tools of the erotic for our creativity which is our life force energy -- is there some kind of weird conspiracy going on?

The message to women is confused. Be small sexually to achieve. Tamp down. But erotic energy is powerful, and if women are permission-ed and taught to use their erotic energy in all aspects of their lives -- are we threatening something?

It's in this confused sexual environment that women who seek to explore and reclaim their own erotic potential face. And it can take an incredible amount of courage.

Even among the sexually enlightened and conscious thinkers, I wonder if there is still some fear of sexually empowered women -- just under the surface. After all, the just under the surface views about women have been surfacing in current events. And women feel the fear and tamp down. I feel the tamping down happening right now. We may be wanting more than ever to be held, loved, adored, melt. Somehow we have gotten this idea (because most women have been carefully taught), that we need to be small to get that. We may feel like we risk a lot to be our full selves. The fear of being dismissed or marginalized because we are not seen as "Proper" is real for many.

On some level the sexually enlightened woman is dangerous and dare I say it -- "unGodly".

When women learn how to bring our erotic energy into all aspects of their lives everything can change.

The sexually empowered woman can not only feel fully, she can bring that energy into all of her life's endeavors. It's powerful. You become a force of nature. Men actually have to show up to meet you. They can no longer be small either. Not to be in your life. And not everyone is ready for that.

Understand his fear, societies fear, or you own -- as you embrace, uncover, and actualize your power.

If we can embrace, understand and nurture its energy, the erotic is the pilot light within yourself. When we allow ourselves to release it, this energy can flow, color and heighten all areas of your life: whether it is cooking, money making, painting, dancing, teaching, mothering, fucking, or examining your own ideas and life.

Pamela Madsen's runs retreats around the world to help women re-connect to their bodies and sensuous nature and is author of the book; "Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner" (Rodale 2011). Pamela's ground breaking work with women has recently been featured in "O" Oprah Magazine.

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