04/15/2014 06:51 am ET Updated Jun 15, 2014

Spend '700 Sundays' With Billy Crystal -- Seriously!

Comedian Billy Crystal was apparently born funny. Baby boy Crystal's naked body was barely out of his mother's womb on Sunday, March 17, 1948 when the little guy noticed things weren't going to go his way. Without giving away the punch line -- as he tells the story in his two-hour '700 Sundays' HBO special -- where there are just too many laugh-out-loud moments to go into in this under-700-word thesis, let's just say his little pink pee-pee got a rude awakening at week one. Ouch! Skin everywhere. (What a memory!)

Now, if that doesn't whet your appetite to sit down in your media room to watch the former SNL cast member's autobiographical journey, then you might want to pick up that banana peel in your path. Laughter will ensue, just don't let it be at your expense. Let the nine-time Academy Award host take the humor wand and guide you through his life -- 66 years and counting.

The "City Slickers" actor takes his audience down memory lane -- re-enacting everything from his facial expression at birth and hilarious impressions of family members, to the poignant moments he found out that his parents had died -- his dad when he was 15 (he had 700 Sundays with him) and his mother, when he turned 53.

Billy Crystal had a great life overall -- funnier than most (maybe because he has a knack for telling the funniest family stories you've ever heard in your life) but there were also many tears and, as life will have it, some bitterness along the way.

There will be no giving away of word-for-word material here because that's like reading the last page of a book first. Or having some a-hole tell you the ending of a movie before you've seen it. The element of surprise -- during the 2-hour monologue of Crystal's life story (he taped his Tony-Winning Broadway show at the Imperial Theater in New York) -- is essential for the viewer to enjoy every facet along his life's journey. Yes, he embellishes (unless that mafia guy -- who came into his family's lives unexpectedly -- was really not so moody), but that's what a genius does in the name of real comedy.

Laughter alert: If, for some reason, you're not allowed to laugh out loud (and God knows what that reason would be -- maybe you've had surgery and don't want your stitches to burst open ), do not -- I repeat -- do not watch '700 Sundays.' You cannot watch this autobiographical special without laughing so hard you'll need to excuse yourself to change your underwear. Cover your hemorrhoids.

Don't say you weren't warned.


Debut: HBO, Saturday, April 19 (9-11 P.M. ET/PT)
Other HBO Playdates:
April 21 (noon, 8 P.M.); 24 (1 P.M., 1:05 A.M); 27 (5:15 P.M); 29 (9:30 A.M., 7 P.M.)
May 3 (2 P.M., 12:55 A.M.); 6 (6 P.M.); 9 (9:30 A.M.); 14 (3 P.M.); 18 (Noon); 26 (10:15 P.M.)
HBO2 Playdates: April 24 (9 P.M.); 26 (10:45 A.M); 28 (8:45 A.M., 6 P.M.) 30 (11:30 P.M.)

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