05/23/2012 02:48 pm ET Updated Jul 21, 2012

A Reminder Not to do the Double Deposit Two Step (a Fable)

"Dr. O'Connor?"

"Mrs. Hart, how are you? Emily is on her--"

"You have some nerve, talking about Emily. After you call her a two-timer in your last college newsletter."

"I called her a--?"

"Don't be coy with me. 'Just a reminder that you can only deposit to one college. If you've deposited at more than one, it's time to make a choice.'"

"Well, I did say that."

"Ha! So you admit it."

"But how does that relate to--"

"Emily has a good head on her shoulders, Dr. O'Connor, but she needs time to let go of options. When she was six, it took her two weeks to pick out a puppy, and she needed five trips to the mall to find the right prom dress to go with David McKenny's tux."

"But Emily is going to prom with--"

"And you go off and make fun of her, for all the world to see."

"Mrs. Hart, it's important that students commit to just one college. Colleges have to set their budgets and clear their wait lists now. If twenty students double deposit and don't come in September, that's hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost revenue... "

"... which is none of my concern. My Emily worked hard to get into these colleges. If she needs more time to decide, everyone else will just have to work around her."

"Excuse me, Dr. O'Connor? Oh, hi Mrs. Hart."

"Well, look who's here! Hello, David. How's my daughter's prom date?"

"'Prom date?'"

"Oh David, you are a stitch."

"Actually, ma'am, I'm going to prom with Whitney Pearson."


"The deadline for prom tickets was coming up, and I just wasn't sure if it would be Whitney or Emily, so I bought tickets for two couples, and put myself down as taking them both. That gave me more time to sort out my options."

"Sort out--? My daughter is not 'an option,' she's a person!"

"I know, but I just needed more--"

"But you don't get more time! She was going with you, and she's invested hours in picking out a dress, not to mention her daddy's hard-earned money. That's all down the drain, and all because you couldn't make up your mind? Come here, you scalawag..."

"Ma'am, that's my ear."

"And you'll only get it back once you understand how wrong this is."

"Mrs. Hart..."

"Mother, what are you doing?"

"Oh, Emily! I'm so sorry, darling."

"Sorry for what? Bothering Dr. O'Connor even after I'm in college?"

"No, precious. For what this--this--"

"That's David, Mother."

"Did to your prom plans!"

"My prom plans? I'm going with Robert."

"Robert? That boy from Gainridge U?"

"He wasn't sure he was going to be home in time for prom, and David wasn't sure Whitney would get home either. David and I split the cost of two tickets, figuring we could go as friends, or one of us would go solo if the other one's date was home."


"Turns out they'll both be home, so everything is fine."

"Robert? The boy from Gainridge? The boy from Gainridge!"

"Mrs. Hart, I'll have to call security if you don't let go of David's--"

"Oh, you can keep this guppy, Dr. O'Connor. My daughter has caught herself a tiger shark. Robert!"

"Of course. Now, about the double college deposits..."

"Well she's heading to Gainridge, of course. For Robert."

"Actually, it's for the three plus two engineering program and the lacrosse team. I knew all along -- Mother just needed some time to let go."

"I'm sure David knows just what you mean, Emily."