01/07/2008 12:03 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Ask Inspector Musharraf!

Thank you, thank you, Pervez Musharraf -- president of Pakistan and forensics genius.

Not only have you solved the whodunit of the death of Benazir Bhutto right there on 60 Minutes, pointing out that "For standing up outside the car, I think it was she to blame alone - nobody else. Responsibility is hers."

You have also cleared up a persistent and troubling question of American history:

All those conspiracy theorists can stop writing and blogging and blabbering. Didn't Musharraf's brilliant insights make it obvious?

Hostile city ... convertible automobile ...

John F. Kennedy killed himself!

Next: Sherlock Musharraf identifies Jack the Ripper.