THE BLOG
03/31/2016 04:38 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Holy Torch Song Trilogy! Harvey Fierstein to Play Batman

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Holy Torch Song Trilogy! Harvey Fierstein to play Batman

Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, Christain Bale, Ben Affleck and now... Harvey Fierstein. Despite the enormous box office returns of 'Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice,' it was announced today the gravely voiced actor would replace the latest Batman, Ben Affleck, donning cape and cowl in 'Batman 7: Out of the Closet.'

Fierstein will also write the script based on his original idea. When asked how he came up with idea, Fierstein related, "this relative said 'if being gay is so cool, why isn't there a gay super hero?' And I'm like 'what do you call Batman?' A guy in his late thirties, not married, wears spandex to work... has an older man who takes care of him... won't be seen without his special belt. We're talking gaaaaaaay!" Fierstein then added, "Don't get me started about Robin. Y'all know what Robin's short for? Robin The Cradle!"

A spokesman reported that billboards will go up soon announcing, 'Batman, Coming Out Next Spring!'