09/12/2013 02:13 pm ET Updated Nov 12, 2013

Everything Can't Be Epic

Everything can't be "epic." Everything can't be the "greatest of all time." That song, movie, book, show, art that came out this summer is not the best ever most records-breaking creation attempted by humankind. That storm, war, accident, "fail," horrible stuff that happened to a bunch of people recently is not the worst catastrophe that ever befell us. That athlete who did all that hitting and running is not the most amazing athlete since antiquity. Not every piece of minutiae which isn't relevant to most and didn't even exist as a thing a few years ago belongs in the Guinness Book of World Records. Not everyone in the news who is just proposing a rebuttal to an opinion is delivering the greatest "slam" of his generation to the other party in the conversation. That "must-see" twerking video you've been passing around is not the "greatest twerking video of all time". Well, maybe it is. Maybe time is just something that only exists for us and is defined by our existence. Nothing existed before us and nothing will exist after us. We live in the bestest greatest most epic most slamming time of all! Our desire for significance with which we surround ourselves through our hyperbolic speech and media only speaks to our fear of utter insignificance. But it's definitely the most amazing insignificance ever!