08/08/2012 02:37 pm ET Updated Oct 08, 2012

Romney's Most Laughable Lie Since He Said His Dog Liked to Ride on the Car Roof

True story. Romney's in London two weeks ago making an ass of himself, and one of the things he's trying to do, with the supreme disingenuousness that suffuses his being, is distance himself from his wife's participation in that hoity-toity Olympics dressage competition. So, when reporters ask him about it, images of John Kerry windsurfing flash through his synapses, and -- as if this is going to make him more a man of the people -- he throws his wife under the bus and says the whole thing is her deal, and not only won't he be watching the event, but "I'm not even sure which day the sport goes on."

And there we have the essence of Mittens' problem. It's not just that he lies reflexively about pretty much everything, but that he has no idea -- not a whit of an iota of a scintilla of a clue -- how obvious (and, therefore, insulting to his audience) these lies are. Your wife has a horse entered in the Olympics and you're not going to watch the event, whenever the hell it's even on? This is a statement that rings so patently and idiotically false that it exempts all of his future utterances from the need to be taken seriously, or really even listened to.

Of course, the very slim possibility does exist that this was an exceedingly rare instance of him telling the truth, and that Mittens really didn't know nothin' about no dressage, in which case his behavior is not recognizably human and there should be a clamor for him to produce his birth certificate. At least Kenya is on the planet Earth.