11/18/2013 04:31 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Never Underestimate the Power of Your Girlfriends

Something happens when a woman marries a man. The world seems to evaporate and nothing is as important as *he* is. And soon enough babies come or that man of yours gifted you with bonus kids when you said "I do." Life happens -- the daily busy-ness of jobs, kids, houses, mortgages, bills, and learning how to live with another person who isn't *just like you.* Before you know it, you're trapped on a hamster wheel, stuck in over drive, and going nowhere fast.

That's where your girlfriends come in. Sometimes I don't know how I would have gotten through my first divorce without my best friend Sandy. We may have been living 1,500 miles apart but by golly, she was always as close as a phone call. She and I have seen other through just about everything... childbirth, divorce, breast cancer, finding love again, and yes, we've even walked down stupid lane together. We've known each other for almost 30 years, and while we're still separated by many miles, we can pick up the phone and talk as if it were just yesterday when we last saw each other.

My first husband never really understood why it was so important for me to spend time with my girlfriends. After all, we were married and he honestly believed that my time and attention needed to be devoted to him. Ah... hem. That's just one reason why we got divorced over a decade ago. He always tried to get me to break up with my girlfriends.

Meet My Powerful Posse


Seven of us became friends at Tim Barchard's Professional Martial Arts Academy because we practice Muay Thai Kickboxing. Somehow between kicking and punching each other and egging each other on to do one more push-up, we became friends. These ladies were my lifeline when my husband, Richard, deployed to Kuwait for a year.

My husband loves my girlfriends... actually, he loves the time I spend with them. The women I will do just about anything for and will always carve out time for are bright, successful, determined, and powerful. Spending time with them is far better than any kind of therapy that I can think of. After an evening with my girlfriends, I come away feeling energized, inspired, and looking forward to the next time we get together.

No matter what's going on in our lives, we find ways to make time for each other. We talk, we eat, we drink wine. Some of us are stepmoms. Some of us have experienced divorce. Some of us have young kids. Some of us have grand-kids. Some of us like The Walking Dead. Some of us are vegetarians. Some of us like white wine and the rest of us like red wine. We come from different walks of life, different upbringings, and different experiences.

As much as I love my husband and my family, I can't imagine my life without my girlfriends. They are the cherry on top, the special sauce, and the magic fairy dust that make my life richer. I don't know about you, but I'm a better person because of my girlfriends.

This article first appeared in The Stepmom's Toolbox.