11/13/2014 05:03 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Sorry, But I'm Not Saying Sorry Anymore

How many times do you say "sorry" each day? And I'm not just talking about the word. A study from 2011 found some folks say sorry up to eight times a day. That's probably a huge understatement. Skip the word itself. How many times a day do you find yourself apologizing? For your situation... or your kids... or your clothing... or whatever it is. I'm sorry to say that it is a sorry state of affairs.

And I'm here today to say without apologies that I am no longer apologizing.

Sorry my kids are being so loud.

Well not really. They're KIDS. They have their entire lives to be old and quiet... let 'em be loud now.

Sorry, we can't afford that toy kids.

Well not really. You can earn allowance and help save for it if you REALLY want it.

Sorry our house is so small.

Well not really. You know what? We're doing the best we can and truthfully I'm happy we have any roof over our heads at all.

Sorry for the food.. does it taste bad?

Well, not really. It's homemade and we tried and anything is better than takeout made by some pimply high school kid.

Sorry I can't volunteer at school.

Ok, maybe I really AM sorry but I'm not gonna let 'em guilt me because we work all day... again... we're doing the best we can.. 'nuff said.

Sorry for 7,675 consecutive days of trying to put the moves on you hun.

Well, not really. You're my partner and you're hot and I love you. And the minute the flame flickers out is the minute we're doomed.

You see, I refuse to get sucked down the apology drain any more. I'm pushing 40. I have graying hair. I drive a Honda. I live in a house with two beds and one bath. I like Ramen soup and eating Oreos out of the package. I don't look like Adam Levine or Sofia Vergara. I never will. And I don't care. No apologies. I am who I am. We are who we are. And we're doing the best we can.

Sorry, but I'm done apologizing.

What are you NOT sorry for?

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