So, when a kid asks a girl to the prom these days, he has to coordinate a social media event with flowers, a gift and some kind of a cutesy poem?
Well played, teenage girls, well played. I have to give you credit. In fact, you gave me a great idea. Forget the promposal. We want Momposals!
Our teenage sons need to stop shuffling up to us in their boxer shorts to mumble their demands. Now that we've seen what these boys can do, they had better step it up when they have a question to pop Mom. Teenage girls aren't the only one who need social media likes, amiright ladies? Here's how it works:
- If your son wants 20 bucks he has to turn out his pockets and make a frowny face for a photo you can post on Facebook.
- If your son wants more than 20 bucks he has to lip synch "I Need A Dollar" for Vine.
- If your son wants a ride he has to sit up straight and let all the neighborhood moms see the two of you having the absolute BEST time together!
- If your son wants the car keys he has to stop at the drive-through for a dozen donuts. Frosted. With sprinkles. No cream-filled.
- If your son wants your signature he has to bring you the document on a tray with your one nice pen and the rest of the Milanos.
- If your son wants your signature on a check he has to kiss you on the cheek as many times as it takes to get a good Instagram. #LoveMyBoy!
Now, you might think this all seems a teeny tiny bit selfish and maybe even a tad degrading, but you'd be wrong. It's for the greater good, actually. After all, aren't these boys going to be husbands someday? If we don't teach them to ask nicely, who will?
I can't wait until my sons get home from school so we can get this thing started. (Plus, l really want a donut.)Peyton Price is the author of Suburban Haiku: Poetic Dispatches From Behind the Picket Fence. She still fits into her own prom gown, if you count wearing it as a sleeve. You can find her at suburbanhaiku.com, Twitter and Facebook.