Ready or not, here comes Mother's Day 2014. Dads, have you developed a battle plan? Moms, are you in the right mindset to relax and enjoy your special day? Not quite yet? Don't worry. I'm here to help you prepare with a play-by-play from start to finish -- in haiku.
Goodbye two free hours.
It's time to go to preschool
for Mother's Day tea.
A mom emailed coach
Re: the Mother's Day tourney
"Will brunch be served?" HA!
Dear Laser Tag place:
Got your Mother's Day email.
Thanks, but *%^# that $%^&.
Hugs at school pick up!
The grandmothers have arrived
for weekend visits.
Kindergarteners
carrying gifts home to moms
arms straight out in front.
Shopping for Mom's Day
in Victoria's Secret?
You're not hot. You're cold.
An overflow crowd
outside the Pandora store
tries to charm their moms.
The house is spotless.
Breakfast is on the counter.
Take it away, kids!
Lying in my bed
I can hear something's afoot:
The search for Scotch tape.
On the way to church
mom in the passenger seat
putting on earrings.
Mother's Day Dinner:
There. There is no more green stuff
in your mac and cheese.
A mom tries to eat
holding her sweaty baby.
Hunka burnin' love.
Over the banquette:
"Don't bother those nice people.
They're trying to eat!"
Get dessert to-go.
The mom at the next table
has gone Exorcist.
It's the little things
that matter to a mother.
Kids, pick up these things.