He's the toast of the talk show scene:
Guests from Clooney to Joaquin;
From Regis to Drew
And Jack Hanna's zoo;
Dave's better than shots of caffeine!
Over 33 crazy years
He's explored uncharted frontiers
To comic psychology
He's one of the great pioneers.
With gap tooth and curly locks;
Striped ties, and snow white socks;
From Paul Shaffer to Biff,
He'll rap and he'll riff --
As addictive as Bagels & Lox.
Dave's weathered so many storms
With viewers from bedrooms to dorms.
With Carson, his muse
He's helped fight off our blues
With wit and invention - no norms.
He's conquered his conflicts with clout --
No room left to mope or to pout.
So back came Madonna
And Oprah - Nirvana!
Who said Dave was not a Boy Scout?!
It's been quite a run, all No Frills
From Stupid Pet Tricks to both Bills --
That's Clinton and Murray --
Super Animals Furry.
Just what are Dave's fabulous skills?
His timing, his comebacks, his brain;
His love for the purely insane;
His ribbing of Justin;
Ad lib-bing with Dustin;
He's Groucho, Jack Benny, Mark Twain!
And true, though I still never got
That chance for a Late Show guest spot
It's now perfectly clear
That I'll persevere
And Dave's just thickened my plot!
Yes, we're saddened there's no more Top 10;
But perhaps we'll all start doing Zen!
Hey Letterman, thanks
For the decades of pranks.
Now on to what's next, Dave...Amen.