10/27/2008 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

World Class Magician McCain Pulls another Poli-Trick

One thing you have to give credit to John McCain for is that he's truly a jack of all trades. He's a distinguished American Patriot, a Decorated War Hero, a U.S. Senator who has served for over 26 years, and he's a cook who can prepare ribs that even leaves Rachel Ray's mouth watering -- all attributes worthy of mention. He is also an owner of 13 cars, and 7 houses just like a real celebrity and elitist. I believe Obama owns one car, a Ford Hybrid Escape.

But now McCain's convinced me that unlike any other politician before him, he is also a great magician. Like David Blain or David Copperfield, he is able to pull tricks from thin air and perform impossible acts. Look what he did with Governor Sarah Palin. No one would've predicted he was going to pull her from his bag of poli-tricks. Yesterday he pulled out his magic bag again and performed the impossible and inconceivable.

With his poll ratings dropping this week like the Dow Jones, he had to do what he could to prevent his campaign from "cratering." So he performs the best magical act of all, he calls for the suspension of all campaigning and to postpone the first Presidential and only Vice Presidential debates. Now, I'm not a magician but this is some great stuff. Someone please tell me how McCain does it. This has to rank up there with David Blaine levitating. I guess when you see your campaign taking a nose dive despite negative campaigning and lies, despite attacking the media for being liberal and sexist towards your running mate, and despite the fact you came off a major bump from your now distant Republican convention, you throw yourself a lifeline, and call for a timeout.

Now while many in the McCain camp are praising him for his leadership for trying to appear non-partisan at this time, I'm doubtful that flying to DC and offering his rich expertise on the economy will be of any help. I believe it was only a week ago McCain was claiming the fundamentals of our economy are strong. Now he's planning to offer some miraculous solution that requires him to stop campaigning and head down to Capital Hill. Maybe he has another trick up his sleeve that will cure our economic ills -- which means somewhere tucked in his suit jacket there is $700 billion dollars he can pull out of thin air. Oh, that's right he doesn't have to perform this miraculous trick because Paulson, Bernanke and the Feds will just print more money and place the burden on the backs of hardworking American taxpayers.

All jokes aside for one second -- just one -- for 20 months now we've been following Senator Barack Obama. He has had to face every kind of question of scrutiny and criticism from all media: left, right and center. He's had to deal with the specter of Jeremiah Wright; withstand scrutiny from everyone under the political spectrum -- including fellow Democrats. He's had to handle the pressure and to his credit the guy has stood up to the scathing criticism. Even our friend Bill O'Reilly had to admit that the guy is no wimp.

Now in the past month, we've seen the Republican presidential candidate, a decorated war hero, turn into a quitter. He complains about the media's treatment of him and his delicate flower Sarah Palin. He complains that the wolves from the Obama camp are out to get him and her. He cries sexism, and if it wasn't already apparent he would also cry ageism. McCain"s even pulled the race card first. Anything to pull the magician's wool over our eyes from the fact that he's just not able to handle this. In some ways McCain is the same as Bush,but from where I stand he's actually worse.

For the first time that I can recall -- here is a candidate who says he's suspending a presidential campaign. What? You've gotta be kidding me. I guess McCain can't multi-task or balance more than one issue at a time -- something I feel the next president should be able to do.

You never know, tomorrow McCain might just ask for the suspension of the entire election because the sky is falling. At the moment our country is on the brink of entering the worst Depression since the 1920s, Americans don't want someone who needs a time out. That's for toddlers, not adults or even a senior citizen. Americans want a leader, someone who can get the facts straight and understands our economic problems are not only psychological.

Whether it's on national security, the economy, employment, health care, or any of the issues we face, now is the time we need to hear from the Presidential candidates who hope to lead us through this myriad of challenges. I want a Debate, not a Delay. This isn't a boxing match, where a person breaks their hand before the fight -- even when he was losing Mike Tyson managed to chew an ear or two off. This is a debate. This should be a walk in the park for you John. It's not like you're cramming for an interview on ABC with Charlie Gibson. How much time do you need to prep, what does delaying the debates mean or do for our country? Nothing!

Besides, the debate is on a Friday night -- 2 to 3 hours out of your day -- what will you be doing on Friday night that will keep you from standing up for what you believe anyway? Debating isn't campaigning -- it's basically getting down to the basics of why you want to be President and how your policies will get us out of this mess. Being a now show is basically quitting. If you're going to quit, hey why not go all the way. Be a real non-partisan, reach across-the-aisle type of guy, drop your party affiliation and cast your vote for the person you know to be the best for the job -- because it's becoming very obvious that person isn't you. And trust me after, seeing Palin on CBS Evening News last night, she"s not the one.